The Insane Just Cause 2 Multiplayer Will Soon Be Even More Insane

Illustration for article titled The Insane emJust Cause 2/em Multiplayer Will Soon Be Even More Insane

The ridiculous mod that allows folks to play with each other in Just Cause 2's map has always been wild, but now the enterprising people behind it are continuing to add features that will expand upon the madness.


This 0.1.4 update, which is now in beta, will include earthquakes and wearable hats and heatseeking missiles. Oh, and cars that drive on water. Those Jesus cars would be the best thing about this update, but those hats. See, this update allows users to attach objects to other objects—like putting a hat on your character's head, but not limited to that. You could also, say, attach a whale to an airplane.

The full changelog for this update can be found at the mod's website. The mod is distributed through Steam, so if you want to participate in the public beta release, you'll need to activate it in the Betas tab.

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Another thing that got forgotten was the fact that against all probability a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet.

And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had to come to terms with not being a whale any more.

This is a complete record of its thoughts from the moment it began its life till the moment it ended it.

"Ah … ! What’s happening?" it thought.

"Er, excuse me, who am I?"


"Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life?"

"What do I mean by who am I?"

"Calm down, get a grip now … oh! this is an interesting sensation, what is it? It’s a sort of … yawning, tingling sensation in my … my … well I suppose I’d better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let’s call it my stomach."

"Good. Ooooh, it’s getting quite strong. And hey, what’s about this whistling roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that … wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do … perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I’ve found out what it’s for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What’s this thing? This … let’s call it a tail – yeah, tail. Hey! I can can really thrash it about pretty good can’t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn’t seem to achieve very much but I’ll probably find out what it’s for later on. Now – have I built up any coherent picture of things yet?"


"Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I’m quite dizzy with anticipation …"

"Or is it the wind?"

"There really is a lot of that now isn’t it?"

"And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground!"

"I wonder if it will be friends with me?"

And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was "Oh no, not again". Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.