To: Luke From: Owen Made jambalaya today and the whole apartment smells good. And when that runs out, I'm going to make pulled pork barbecue — real barbecue, not that ketchup-based dogfood Adam calls barbecue out in Memphis. That'll last another 10 days. And then chili. But either way, Southern food is the food of poor people, which means you can make it cheaply, make a lot of it at once, you don't have to worry about its presentation, and it really, really tastes good. You know, it strikes me that the last time I made jambalaya was two months ago, for an office potluck lunch. And I was laid off on Friday. Won't get into the whys, but I can say the next relationship I have with any employer is going to be based strictly on the terms of my paycheck, specifically, was one signed and deposited in my account this week. After that, I'm going home. No boss was ever paid to care about my job; reciprocal concern, going forward, won't be a term of my employment either. In other words, I'll find work. But the fuck if I'll ever again cook food for any company. Ever again. Some highlights: Meet the Announcer Russian Booth Babes Defy All Cold War Jokes LBP Levels Getting 'Moderated' Out of Existence Autopsy: No Foul Play in Crisp Death Bender/Fenix Voice Actor: "It's a Double Nerd Boner" Infinity Ward Guy Calls Activision Guy "Super Douche"