While this is only the first five minutes of the newly-released Car Mechanic Simulator 2015, we’re going to have to charge you for a whole hour.

When one of our family vehicles breaks down I can often be found standing in front of it with the hood open. This is not because I know anything about the internal workings of a car, but rather because the Car Mechanic Simulator series has given me the confidence to stand there and name several components that may or may not be the cause of my troubles. “Sounds like the flywheel” I will say with a sagely nod to my wife, who has never played Car Mechanic Simulator and couldn’t care less. “I should check the catalytic converter.”

I never actually check the catalytic converter, because my car is a real car, coated with caked-on oil and bustling with wires, each one linked directly to the vehicles’ auto-destruct mechanism, which it certainly has.

Here’s what Car Mechanic Simulator 2015 has to say for itself.

Create and expand your auto repairs service empire. Car Mechanic Simulator 2015 will take you behind the scenes of daily routine in car workshop. Take on the role of the car mechanic and repair cars for your clients. Spend the earned money on expanding your workshop and improving your skills. Buy worn out cars, renovate them and sell with profit or become a famous car collector. If you manage your business well, you will surely succeed in the market.

I love this stupid series.

The First Five is the first five minutes of a game with light commentary. Once the five minutes are up, so are we.

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