If you live on the east coast, you may have heard that we’re about to get destroyed by an epic blizzard. If you hadn’t heard that, well, sorry to break it to you. I guess now you know.
Presuming the current apocalyptic weather forecasts bear icy fruit, come tomorrow we’ll all be stuck in our various living spaces, unable to venture out for fear of frostbite and abominable snowmen. Assuming your power stays on and your roof doesn’t start leaking, it should actually be a pretty clutch time to play some video games. Here are a few to consider.
Diablo III
Not only did this game just get a major free update, a significant portion of it takes place in Hell. As you may know, it is quite warm in Hell, which can be a nice respite from the freezing deathtrap outside your window.
Bully: Scholarship Edition
I could recommend this game because it has an enjoyable “Winter” chapter during which you befriend a drunk in town and make a snowman, but really, I’m just recommending it because it’s really good and I bet some of you haven’t played it.
Superman 64
Nothing raises your body heat quite like getting really, really pissed. The frequent clenching, cussing, and controller throwing you’ll be doing while playing Superman 64 will keep you nice and warm, which is important when the temperature outside drops.
Mario Party 2
Since you’ve already got your N64 plugged in, you might as well play something good on it, too. This one is Jason Schreier’s go-to Mario Party game, guaranteed to get you and your roommates moving around, laughing, and therefore not slowly freezing to death.
Alto’s Adventure
Skiers and snowboarders are among the only maniacs who actually like it when winter weather decides to ruin everything. In times like these, who better to emulate than the star snowboarder of Alto’s Adventure, a neato iOS game that recently made our list of the best iPhone games?
Final Fantasy VII
Speaking of snowboarding, you should probably play through the first 30 or so hours of Final Fantasy VII so that you can get to part where Cloud starts snowboarding. It’s not like you have anything else to do.
Homeworld: Deserts of Kharak
You know where it basically never snows? The desert. I don’t know from the deserts of Kharak, specifically, but I’m assuming they’re like most deserts, and there isn’t a lot of snow. As a bonus, apparently this game is really good.
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
Come tomorrow you may be totally freezing and covered in snow, but at least you won’t also be gutshot and bleeding out. Unless you are, in which case, yikes. What are you doing reading Kotaku??
The Long Dark
Several of the games on this list should help you forget about the fact that you’re only an inch of windowpane away from a slow, freezing death. The Long Dark is more about preparing for that worst-case scenario. If you can survive in this game without freezing to death, there’s at least some kind of chance you’ll be able to do the same thing when the power goes out and it’s every man for himself. As always, beware of wolves.
Basically Any Other Video Game
You’ve probably realized by now that most of these suggestions are only half serious. In all honesty, you could play any video game that you have on any system—hell, you could even try something new! If you’re looking for inspiration, we’ve got a bunch of lists of games you can try out.
The Best PC Games • The Best PS4 Games • The Best Xbox One Games • The Best Wii U Games • The Best 3DS Games • The Best PS Vita Games • The Best Xbox 360 Games • The Best PS3 Games • The Best Wii Games • The Best iPhone Games• The Best iPad Games • The Best Android Games • The Best PSP Games • The Best Facebook Games • The Best DS Games • The Best Mac Games • The Best Browser Games • The Best PC Mods
If you’re preparing for the storm: Remember to stock up on toilet paper and warm drinks, and charge your 3DS now in case the power goes out. Good luck, and see you on the other side.
To contact the author of this post, write to kirk@kotaku.com.