Teenagers Are Not Very Good At Being Bread

Bread is lovely. It's soft, quiet and largely immobile. Teenagers, on the other hand, are packed with sturdy bones, boisterous and don't stay in any one spot for too long. They're pretty much the opposite of bread, and so they're not very good at playing I Am Bread.

My "Teens are the Opposite of Bread" theory is proven readily by the folks over at the React channel, a YouTube outlet that seems dedicated to proving that teens need a little more time in the oven before they can possibly be good at anything. Out of the entire batch of teens grown for this video, only two make the divine transition to toast. Yet we still let them drive on our roads and perform in our high school plays. It boggles the mind.

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