The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put…
You know, Mahoney, I'd like to spend the next ten weeks breaking you into little pieces. But I won't. Because you're…
I'm not much for giving inspirational addresses, but I'd just like to point out that every newspaper in the country…
This block is being designated a Neighborhood Watch Area. There's a guy up here named Snake. He's wearing…
He was only 9. I practically raised him since he was 2. Drive you crazy! Tell him to sit down, he'd stand up. Tell…
This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for coupons. I'm gonna have deals and you're gonna have…
Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. But I would like to…
I was the last one left after the nuclear holocaust, eh. The whole world had been destroyed, like the U.S. blew up…
That's the last time, Bender. That the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids, you hear me? I…
I can't believe this, Wyatt. I'm so disappointed in us. All our lives we've been saying how great it would be if we…
I grab a deal. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day long got my foot up a deal's ass. Just bang,…
Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you're the goddamnedest pursuee I've ever pursued. Now…
You think you can catch Keyser Soze? You think a guy like that comes this close to getting caught and sticks his…
I am very thrilled and proud to be here. It's been a wonderful ceremony here on behalf of our own Fred "The Dorf"…
Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're…
Scut Farkus! What a rotten name! We were trapped. There he stood, between us and the alley. Scut Farkus staring out…
I came up with a new game show idea recently. It's called The Old Game. You got three old guys with loaded guns…
I think I've turned a corner. I beat the shit out of some kids today. But it was for a purpose. It made me feel good…
Hollywood lost one of its most quotable comedic actors this week when Leslie Nielsen, 84, passed away at a Fort…
We aren't done with the shopping holidays before the holidays. Tomorrow's Cyber Monday, a new tradition whereby…