Ah, the iPhone. The person who has the iPhone—and who never doesn't have the iPhone—only needs one gift. But surely there's more than one to recommend.
You can't go wrong with this. You're basically giving the person cash, but you're narrowing down the possible uses of that cash to the stuff on iTunes—books, movies, music, comics, video games—all the nonsense a person can choose from. You are sending the message that you want them to spend their gifted spacebucks on a bunch of somethings that will be fun.
($25-$100)
Pseudo-Educational Games
Drop 7 is the ultimate quick-play iOS game that you can also suggest is educational... as much as adding the digits 1-7 is educational. Tiny Tower teaches, uh, building management. Contre Jour will make them appreciate art. Scan through our year's worth of Gaming Apps of the Day. Most of them are for iPhone; plenty are worth considering.
(Free-$3)
(WWE.com)
CM Punk vs. John Cena, Money in the Bank 2011
Seriously. Gift them the most exciting pro wrestling match of the year. They might think you are insane, but they will also forever remember you as the person bold enough to compel them to put a wrasslin' match on their iPhone. They might even watch it.
($2.99; photo via WWE.com)
They make it look like your iPhone is just your ear (or someone else's!) Do you need to be told that this would serve as a joke gift?
($20)
If they drive, they will appreciate this navigation system. And they will never buy it for themselves, because only madmen buy $50 apps for their iPhone, not poor students.
($49.99)
This solar-powered iPhone charging tree is expensive, artsy, French and possibly not on sale. They sold through their first batch, but keep an eye on their blog to see if they're taking more orders. Surely every dorm room needs one of these. And surely it'd never get broken or rained on with beer.
($370)
You can contact Stephen Totilo, the author of this post, at stephentotilo@kotaku.com. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, and lurking around our #tips page.