PC modders have done something to Resident Evil Village’s resident tall lady, Countess Alcina Dimitrescu, but I can’t figure out exactly what. Can you? Take your time. I know: It’s a real head scratcher!
Alright so, I just got off the phone with experts at the intersection of tall ladies and trains, and they’ve informed me that Lady Dimitrescu’s head has been replaced with a whole darn train. And that train, an expert at the intersection of regular-sized men and trains informed me, is also a man, who is also Thomas The Tank Engine. It’s a lot to take in, but that is, I can confirm, what Crazy Potato’s “Count Theodora” mod does.
This new installment of #ThomasWatch raises many questions: If Lady Dimitrescu steps on you in this form, is she technically running you over? Is this a new fetish? Ah, who am I kidding: It probably already exists.
If that’s not enough for you, there’s another PC mod that gives her cool sunglasses. It’s called “Mommy Glasses.” Of course it is. Other mods turn your weapons into a banana and a spoon and everybody else’s everything into Barney The Dinosaur, and the game isn’t even fully out yet. Whether your Lady Dimitrescu is part-train or not, we’re in for a ride.