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OpinionImpressionsTrials Of Mana‘s Healer Talks Like A Baby And Pwease, No
There are six playable characters in the Trials of Mana HD remake that comes out this week. The only dedicated healer among them is Charlotte, the diminutive granddaughter of the Priest of Light. I’d rather my party die a thousand deaths than be subjected to her insipidly cutesy baby-talk. It’s a widdle too uwu. When…
By Mike Fahey -
OpinionImpressionsMario Maker 2‘s Final Update Would Be Better If It Weren’t The Last One
Super Mario Maker 2 received its big version 3.0 update today, adding a bunch of new items, characters, and a whole new mode for building entire worlds. There’s a ton of great stuff to play around with in it. But as a final update, it leaves a lot on the table. First the big stuff:…
By Ethan Gach -
OpinionImpressionsDestiny 2’s Guardian Games Is Another Boring Bounty Fest So Far
Destiny 2’s latest event is a generous but all-too-familiar bounty grind, and I’m not sure I have it in me to stick with it. Revealed last week, Guardian Games is Destiny 2’s spin on the Olympics. Instead of individual players competing to see who’s the best, players of a particular class—Warlock, Titan, or Hunter—pool their…
By Ethan Gach -
OpinionImpressionsI Need Much More Of Final Fantasy VII Remake‘s Dancing Mini-Game
Don’t leave a rhythm game fan hanging here, Square Enix. The Final Fantasy VII Remake dancing mini-game is too good to be limited to a practice round and one spectacular sequence. Cloud needs to move his body right. As I played through Final Fantasy VII Remake, former (sniff) co-worker Jason Schreier kept asking me where…
By Mike Fahey -
OpinionImpressionsThe New Animated Mortal Kombat Movie Is Just As Brutal As The Games
Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion’s Revenge, the new film from Warner Bros. Animation, begins with dozens of ninja being torn limb from limb. Hanzo “Scorpion” Hasashi’s young son is viciously slayed while the titular ninja helplessly watches. Fans of the fighting game’s over-the-top violence will be… pleased? This might get a little gross, folks. The first…
By Mike Fahey -
OpinionIt’s Not Gonna Happen But I Still Want A Physical Copy Of Final Fantasy VII Remake [Update]
I made the mistake of trying to get a physical copy of Final Fantasy VII Remake, the game I’ve been waiting over a decade to play, ever since the idea of it first started knocking around my early-20s brain. It never came, and now I’m staring at page after page of scalper prices on Ebay.…
By Ethan Gach -
OpinionImpressionsFallout 76‘s Wastelanders Expansion Is Underwhelming So Far
Running down the hill from Vault 76 where I emerged a year and a half ago, I spot a couple hiking up a stone path. They are the first people I’ve ever seen in Fallout 76 in my over 100 hours with it. They ask me if the vault’s still open and if I’ve heard…
By Ethan Gach -
OpinionImpressionsCloud Can’t Close Doors
Final Fantasy VII Remake looks so damn good, and it’s full of tiny graphical flourishes. You can even see which color materia Cloud has equipped in his sword. That might be why it’s so much more noticeable to me that Cloud can’t close doors. I’m only eight hours into playing the game, so maybe Cloud…
By Maddy Myers -
OpinionHunting Down Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ Cherry Blossom Recipes Turned Me Into A Monster
I know what I said about Animal Crossing: New Horizons. “Take things easy,” I said. “Don’t let FOMO ruin the game for you,” I said. But last night, I failed to follow my own advice. My mad dash to round up cherry blossom recipes turned me into a ravenous monster, unable to appreciate the virtual…
By Ian Walker -
OpinionImpressionsThe Difference Between Final Fantasy VII’s Easy And Normal Modes Is Too Drastic
Combat in Final Fantasy VII Remake, especially when facing powerful boss battles, involves juggling normal and special attacks, destructive and healing magics, and strategically exploiting enemy weaknesses. Unless you’re playing in easy mode. Then it’s just button-mashing bullshit. I spent 40 hours playing through Final Fantasy VII Remake, mostly on normal mode, the highest difficulty…
By Mike Fahey -
OpinionImpressionsMinecraft Dungeons Is Like Family-Friendly Diablo
Minecraft’s transformation from an open-world crafting game into a linear dungeon crawler is an odd one, but Minecraft Dungeons is still shaping up to be a serenely welcoming loot-based hack n’ slash. Mojang demoed the game for me remotely last week due to the new work-from-home constraints imposed by the ongoing covid-19 crisis. These constraints…
By Ethan Gach
