Video-game achievements are funny things. We want to unlock them, and we're willing to shoot the 1,000 zombies or speed-run the 10 levels to do so. But... they're kind of silly, ya know? It'd be nice if more games took their achievements a little less seriously.

Recently, Tom Francis' excellent stealth game Gunpoint experimented with half-serious achievements, with some hilarious results. And of course, if another new game were going to screw with the idea of game achievements, it'd be The Stanley Parable, which just came out this week on Steam. After all, Davey Wreden's exercise in twisting story subversion has screwed with everything else, from demos to trailers to video-game storytelling itself.


Here are The Stanley Parable's Steam achievements, which range from "Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday" to "Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years."

Ha. Well played, Mr. Wreden.

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