Next, my deaths in hour two, which should also be known as The Hour During Which I Realized I'd Missed The Area Of The Game Where You Are Taught How To Play:

My deaths in hour three, in which I learned how not to fight a crowd and how to begin to plan my enemy's demise:

My deaths in hour four, in which I finally got myself a better sword:

Phew! I'm ready for more.

Also, a special shout-out to Kotaku video editor Chris Person, who spent 80 hours of his life playing this game last week, who reviewed it for us and who is the only instruction manual Dark Souls II needs. If you're ever stumped in the game, just text him.


To contact the author of this post, write to or find him on Twitter @stephentotilo.