Banjo, the titular bear from N64’s Banjo-Kazooie, can speak, but not in words. When he moves his mouth only gibberish comes out. It’s a cursed virtual life he leads, especially when he’s forced to read the words on Magic: The Gathering cards.
The next time someone tries to argue with you about whose cards resolve first, just tell them be sure to bring in Banjo to help clear things up. (Thanks Destructoid.)