Let The Dog Do His Job, You Jerk

Today we talk about the origin of our online usernames, hang out with Snoop Dog, figure out what is going on with Dragon Age 4, watch a jerk ruin a dog’s day and find out bees are evil creatures. It’s Morning Checkpoint!

Great Kotaku Content From The Past Week

Like most weeks, Kotaku was filled with some great stories. Here are a few of my favorites!

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Jason Schreier has even more information about Bioware, EA and the games they are working on and were working on.

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A wonderful look at how a beloved franchise is built. Always happy to get a look behind the curtain at Nintendo. Now, about Kirby’s feet...

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I remember when we didn’t have stores. I remember downloading games filled with adware from sites like Tucows.com. Does anyone remember Icy Tower?

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Ultimately all life will be simulated in GTA V RP servers. This is The Matrix. Get ready folks.

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Tweets!

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I know that this meme is almost already dead and annoying, but I still enjoyed this.

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Snoop Dogg is a perfect person to have around if you have or think you might have weed on you. If Snoop is within 100 feet of you, any smell can and will be blamed on Mr.Dogg.

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Come on Bees. It is really hard to want to protect you and keep you from going extinct when you do shit like this.

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Please, let the bat dog do his job. And look, if you REALLY want to throw the bat and piss off a crowd of fans, at least put some effort in your throw. This umpire barely got it halfway to the dugout. Nice toss, jerk.

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Some Good Comments

It all started with a load of laundry.

In late spring of 2007, I was finishing up my last semester of high school. My room in my parents’ house was in the basement, directly across from the washer/dryer. Everyone in the house did their own laundry, and I was consistently peeved that if I left my clothes in the dryer, other family members would leave it on top of the dryer rather than throw the clothes onto my bed.

Being the entitled little shit I was, I decided that the best way to handle my frustration was to post a passive-aggressive note next to the dryer, saying that my room was not 10 feet away and if they could just put my clothes in there that would be great, thanks. One of my good friends decided to take the piss out of my attempt to get my family members to enable my laziness by annotating the document, turning it into a bizarre list of demands. These demands included making sure they only used shatter laundry detergent if they were going to put my clothes in the wash, wiping down the inside of the dryer with butane, and making sure I tip the underpants gnome. At the end, he crossed out my name and, for reasons lost to time, and wrote ‘Stoncils’.

And now here I am. What started as a joke name in local Halo matches became the foundation of my online identity. Now, the name ‘Stoncils’ feels as much my own identity in digital spaces as my birth name is for analog.

All this is to say that, if I eventually ditch it in a pique of identity crisis, I’m going with Broken_yam470. -Stoncils from “PlayStation Is Really Bad At Suggesting New PSN Names”

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I love learning the stories people have behind their different online handles. For a long time, I’ve used a name that I created in Runescape. I know someone who picked their name based on a random food item that was next to them.

Fact: Dr. Kirby in Planet Robobot was the best thing to come from Nintendo in years. -Segador from “How Kirby Games Are Made”

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I agree and honestly, I trust him more than I trust that Dr. Mario guy. He seems like he got his degree from a college in South America in less than a few weeks.

Fun fact about headline typos: They’re still in the URL even after being edited. -Hououin Kyouma from Pathway Is An Indiana Jones Inspired Tactics Game That Is Hard To Put Down”

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Shoosh. Stop spreading this info to more folks. Otherwise, they might dig through my posts and see the headline typos I didn’t catch until AFTER hitting the publish button.

Trailers & Videos You May Have Missed

Who needs Jedi Fallen Order when you can play some Star Wars pinball games on your Switch!

I wonder if Ubisoft will be able to turn this game around and make it super popular and long lasting like they did with The Division 1, Siege and For Honor.

Slow zombies > fast zombies. (Though this looks okay.)

The world always can use more Shazam.


Morning Checkpoint is all about catching you up on the past week, getting you ready for the next week, answering some questions, sharing stories and having a good time. You can email me anything you want or drop a comment below. Suggest tweets, comments, ideas, new sections and more for next week and thanks for reading!

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About the author

Zack Zwiezen

Kotaku Weekend Editor | Zack Zwiezen is a writer living in Kansas. He has written for Gamecritics, USgamer, Killscreen and Entertainment Fuse.