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  It’s Best If You Don’t See What Happens To Mario When He Falls To His Death

  When Mario falls down a hole in the countryside, you die, without ever seeing what actually happened to him, or why it constitutes death. Know why you’re never shown? Because you don’t need to see those horrors, that’s why (via it8bit). The Pit by Ryan Coleman

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 8, 2011
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  Report: Nintendo Sold Just Over Half Its 3DS Units In Japan

  When the 3DS launched, Nintendo said 1.5 million of the 4 million shipped handhelds were headed for Japan by the end of March. According to respected Japanese sales tracker Media Create, there are still leftovers. Lots of them. Media Create reports that there have been only 836,000 units sold, meaning that the 3DS still hasn’t…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 8, 2011
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  Warhammer Fans, This Game Has Titans In It

  In the grim darkness of the near future, there is only this game: Warhammer 40K: Space Marine. An action title from noted strategy devs Relic, it’s about Space Marines. And Orks. And Titans. That should be all you need to know. Oh, and don’t mind the fact that this is a developer diary; it’s mostly…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 8, 2011
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  Here’s A Very Good Reason Why Video Game Characters Shouldn’t Get Naked

  I have my own theory on video game sex: it looks like two mailboxes clanging together. BioShock creator Ken Levine has something a little more humanoid in mind Here’s the crux of it, and it’s something I wish more developers enforced: if you can’t make something look or feel good/real, then don’t do it. Your…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 8, 2011
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  The Game In Which A Little Man Climbs On Big Girls’ Bodies

  In “I Love Women’s Body Climber”, the premise is simple: climb up girls. The difficulty is based on what the female characters are (or are not) wearing. For example, it’s harder to climb up bare skin than pull one’s way up a sailor suit. According to Famitsu, the game is a cell phone based title,…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 8, 2011
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  The Splinter Cell HD Re-Releases Are Missing Something…

  Three old Splinter Cell games are being re-released on the PlayStation 3. If you thought they’d be upgrades of the PS2 versions, you’re wrong. And if you thought they’d include online multiplayer, you’re also, sadly, wrong. The three games – Splinter Cell, Pandora Tomorrow and Chaos Theory – are some of the finest and most…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 8, 2011
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  A Resident Evil Gun That’ll Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid

  Game themed shirts and figures are nice and all, but they’re certainly not unusual. But a Resident Evil pistol? Certainly not standard fare. This is a replica of Chris Redfield’s Samurai Edge firearm. It doesn’t shoot bullets, because that would be dangerous. It’s an “airsoft gun” and shoots only plastic pellets, which is only sort…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 8, 2011
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  New Harvest Moon Coming To 3DS (And DS)

  Before there was FarmVille (ungh), there was Harvest Moon (yay). The newest entry in the farm sim series, Harvest Moon: The Tale of Two Towns, is headed for the DS and 3DS. [via GameSpot]

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 8, 2011
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  You Know What Dead Space Needs?

  A little stupid, perhaps, but a game as repetitive and oppressively dark as Dead Space 2 could have done with a few lighter moments. Like this one. dead space by Apofiss

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 8, 2011
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  Square Enix Boss Accused Of Being Flippant About Earthquake

  Last night at around 11:30, an aftershock with a magnitude of over 7 hit northeast Japan. The area, Tohoku, was ravaged last month by another quake and ensuing tsunami that left thousands dead and many more homeless. As the quake shook the country, Square Enix president Yoichi Wada, like many others, took to Twitter. Wada…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 8, 2011
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  The New Twisted Metal Is Out In October

  Here’s a long, gameplay-riddled trailer for the upcoming Twisted Metal game for the PS3, which will be out on October 4. I know the game has its loyal fans, and could well be a blast, but boy, the 1990s were a long time ago. Not that you’d realise that watching/listening to this. NOTE: You’ll probably…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 8, 2011
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  Rent Your Own Personal Cosplayer

  Cosplay was once a sideshow. But these days, it is quickly becoming the main draw for Japanese gaming and manga events, sometimes garnering more coverage than the actual games and comics. As its popularity increases, not only does the number of cosplayers multiply, so does the number of people taking pictures. Events like the Tokyo…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 8, 2011
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  White Knight Chronicles II Is Coming To America

  White Knight Chronicles II, the RPG sequel from Professor Layton developers Level-5, has been out for ages in Japan. And until now, had only been given a confirmed Western release in Europe. Until now! Sony Computer Entertainment America may have passed on the game, but boutique publisher D3Publisher hasn’t, and will be bringing the game…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 8, 2011
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  Commander Shepard, Let’s Get A Look At Your Mass Effect 3 Self

  A “reveal” of the third game in the series is rarely much of a “reveal” at all, especially for a series like Mass Effect where your character is wearing mostly the same clothes he has been for the past four years. And speaking of “he”, it’s a shame to see Male Shepard leading the public…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 8, 2011
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  CultureTotal Recall

  The Game Boy Creator’s Last Handheld Was A Wonderful Little Thing

  Since Brian’s story earlier about the tragic death of former Nintendo great Gunpei Yokoi, I figured today would be a good time to take a look at the last thing he ever worked on: the WonderSwan handheld gaming device. While Yokoi will always be remembered as the man who created the Game & Watch, the…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 8, 2011
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  Mullets Finally Come To Team Fortress 2

  Hat enthusiasts get a minor but noteworthy new update for Team Fortress 2 today: the option to apply a flowing mullet to the Engineer class with the “Big Country” wearable item. Nine pieces of headgear, including googly eyes for the Pyro and a detective’s cap for the Spy, are joined by one teddy bear. If…

  By Michael McWhertor Published April 7, 2011
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  EA Sports’ ‘Persistent’ Player Profile Would Mean No More Starting from Scratch Each Year

  Each year the new title comes out, sports gamers must re-enter their preferences, their profiles, must re-create themselves in singleplayer careers, must restart dynasties and franchises and online franchises. Remarks by EA Sports’ president hint that their titles may soon put all of that under a persistent experience, imported from a previous version into new…

  By Owen Good Published April 7, 2011
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  The World Bank Proposes Fair Trade Gold Farming

  An analysis by a World Bank initiative recommends that gold farming – you read that right – is a substantial growth opportunity for developing nations’ economies, and that NGOs – bureaucrat speak for do-gooder agencies – begin connecting the rural poor in these nations to gold farming enterprises under a fair-trade modeling. That shit-you-not-proposition is…

  By Owen Good Published April 7, 2011
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  A Visit from Photo-Flo

  I like the fact this incredibly painful nutshot occurs in what appears to be a hotel suite. That’s where nonsense of this sort should ideally take place. Reminds me of a day long ago – well before digital photography – when half of the school paper checked into the Marriott Marquis of Atlanta for a…

  By Owen Good Published April 7, 2011
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  Get Tired with UFC Personal Trainer

  UFC Personal Trainer, the MMA-branded exergame coming soon for Kinect from THQ, dares to ask the question of what is a more ridiculous workout activity: Deadlifting a dumptruck tire in real-life, or in the comfort of your living room? Coming in June, UFC Personal Trainer joins EA Sports Active NFL Training Camp as sports-branded products…

  By Owen Good Published April 7, 2011