First-Person Shooters? I’ll Take A First-Person Scorer, Thanks.

I’m right in the middle of playing both FIFA 14 and PES 2014 (I’ll be comparing them here next week). But as I play them – and in particular the former, which is looking old – my mind drifts to what the football games of the next (or next) generation could/should look like. And I’m…

Don’t Laugh. Klingon And Elvish Are Real Languages.

You might think Lord of the Rings’ Elvish, Star Trek’s Klingon and Game of Thrones’ Dothraki are all just collections of silly words, but nope. They’re actual, real languages, no different from English, Spanish or Japanese. This TED Talk by John McWhorter explains why this is. It’s not just a collection of words that makes…

The Pirates Of The Future Don’t Buckle Swashes

Sergi Brosa is a Spanish concept artist and illustrator who works mostly as a freelancer and on comission pieces. Why a comic publisher or video game studio doesn’t have him on their books escapes me, because Sergi’s stuff is insane Be sure to scroll to the last image. Then…keep scrolling. If you can. You can…

The Xbox One Can Trim Your Fat, That’s Why It Comes With Kinect

Until December 2014, everybody who gets an Xbox One will have free access to something called Xbox Fitness. Which is basically a collection of videos that use the Kinect’s sci-fi powers to help you lose the weight you accumulate playing all your other games. The vids appear to simply be pre-existing fitness productions, but tie…

The Best Game This Year Is Jumping Into Swimming Pools (And Failing)

You know the best thing about GTA V? It’s not the scale, the cars, the missions or the guns. It’s the fact there are swimming pools. And a brutal physics engine. This is the good Jackass game we never got. I had a lot of fun with the GTA physics… [thanks Will138!]

Thief Has An Old-School Homage Mission. Which Is DLC. Sigh.

Hey, here’s where there should be some good news! The upcoming Thief game, which already has people a little worried, thought it was doing the right thing by including a mission that was a straight homage to Thief II’s bank heist. Which it immediately spoils by making it pre-order DLC. I’ve said before how awful…

We Already Know He’ll Have Mother Issues

Presented without further comment.

We Don’t Need A Metal Gear Movie. We’ve Already Got A Real Snake.

When the Metal Gear movie is done – if it’s ever done – it’ll be 17 hours long, 16 of which will be people talking about something you don’t quite understand. What a drag. So let’s watch this much shorter Metal Gear movie, made by one of the world’s best cosplayers, instead. The man in…

Star Citizen, You Just Keep Looking Better

You know, I think Chris Roberts’ pitch for Star Citizen probably went something like this: “Hey, I made Wing Commander, so I’m going to do that again. Oh, and also, Battlestar Galactica was awesome”. The game’s not out until the end of next year, at the earliest. Which is about the only bad news in…

Imagine If Skyrim Had Better Combat…

Once was a time, when you play games like Hexen and Heretic, that first-person shooters weren’t always about shooting. Sometimes they could be about throwin’ fireballs and castin’ spells. Lichdom is a return to those times, and a good-looking one at that. Though billed as an “action adventure”, and with RPG elements up to its…

One Last Crackpot Breaking Bad Theory… That Just May Be Right

The guns are loaded, the chips are on the table: Just three nights remain until we find out, once and for all, how Breaking Bad will end. Surely there’s room for just one… more… theory. You guys have already listed some great theories about how you think the show will end. This new one, from…

Two Important Things GTA V Is Still Getting Wrong

There are plenty of good things to say about Grant Theft Auto V. As a digital creation, it’s remarkable to behold. But it also has its share of problems: For all the things Rockstar has gotten down to a science, GTA retains some fundamental flaws that its developers just can’t quite seem to fix. I…

Robin Williams Likes Games Other Than The Legend of Zelda, Y’know

Maybe you picked up on the fact that Robin Williams likes The Legend of Zelda—just, you know, based on subtle stuff like being in Zelda commercials and having a daughter named Zelda. But that’s not all he likes, you know! Yesterday, Williams did a fantastic Ask Me Anything on Reddit, where folks asked all about…

Watch Six People Shout About Violent Video Games For About Six Minutes

Last night on our favorite CNN-wannabe HLN, Dr. Drew had a bunch of people on his show to talk about the Navy Yard Shooter. This, of course, eventually devolved into a shouting match about violent video games. I consider myself a sommelier of clips of people screaming about video games on television, but dear lord…

Meet Assassin’s Creed IV‘s Swashbuckling Rogues’ Gallery

Such swashbuckling swarthiness! We have now entered the period known as “Defcon Ubi-Trailer,” in which a month or so before a Ubisoft game release, the publisher starts putting out new trailers at increasingly closer intervals until we achieve some sort of trailer singularity. All the world becomes a Ubisoft trailer, and our existence dissolves into…

Wendy Williams Has No Regrets About Buying GTA V for Her Son

Today, nationally syndicated daytime talk-show host Wendy Williams talked about our open letter from a retail store veteran who sold too many copies of GTA V to uncaring parents, and admitted that she indeed bought a copy for her 13-year-old son. Previously, Williams justified buying her 13-year-old son Grand Theft Auto V by saying that…

Mortal Kombat‘s Web Series and Movie Will Be Totally Different Things

It seemed like Mortal Kombat was dead for a while there. No games, no movies, no Fatalities. But now, the gory fighting franchise is back, with a movie in development and season two of a slickly-made web series making its debut today. (The first episode is above.) The same guy is in charge of both,…

If you’re into GTA V and live near New York City, you might be interested in Rockstar’s presentation of the game on Sunday at the New York Film Festival and in a concert of the game’s score on Monday. Details at Rockstar’s site

A Heartfelt, If Not Slightly Angry Love Song Dedicated To Trolls

You know what they say, you shall love your troll as yourself. The Doubleclicks take this edict to heart by performing an amusing song dedicated to nasty internet trolls…it’s kind of sweet! But I’m sure you can suss a sense of genuine annoyance with trolls, too—with good reason, I’m sure. Trolls aren’t pleasant, and I’m…

Do It By The Book: In this fine, thoughtful article at Quarter to Three, critic Tom Chick explains why he thinks GTA V‘s much-discussed torture mission is successful satire.