Hello! Today we meet drink some semen, sacrifice a pizza, learn about the future of Gears of War, talk about Farmville (?) and meet the animal version of Lance Armstrong. It’s Morning Checkpoint!
Like most weeks, Kotaku was filled with some great stories. Here are a few of my favorites!
Come for the cum, stay for the hilarious writing of Kate Gray.
“And she’s buying a stairway...to heaven...to find an Easter egg..”
Seriously. There are better ways to deal with fan games than simply nuking them from orbit with lawsuits and threats.
Maybe Red Dead Online is a mess, but this game can also deliver some gorgeous and amazing moments. Like exploring a vast and empty wasteland.
I won’t. I would like to forget him as a bunny, but I can never forget that face. God help me.
All of these doors are actually just unlocked, but to keep his job at Black Mesa and to seem more useful, Barney just pretends they are locked. “Oh yeah, I’ll get that door for you doc. BOOP BOOP BOOP!”
This might be the first time I’ve seen a video featuring a pizza and felt very...uncomfortable.
- Popular YouTuber Etika Dies At 29
- Gears 5 Developer Says It’s Riskier Than The Last One
- Crash Team Racing PS4's Got A Save-Corrupting Bug, But A Fix Is On The Way
- Valve Changes Steam Sale After Widespread Complaints From Developers And Players
- Sony, Microsoft, And Nintendo Come Out Against Trump’s Tariffs On Gaming Consoles
- Two Weeks After Suspending Dr. Disrespect For Livestreaming In Bathroom, Twitch Restores His Channel
Dark Souls, but with robots and weird future stuff is looking good.
Tifa Lockhart is forever locked into my head as “That character some idiots got mad about because her boobs look different.” Thanks for that, assholes.
You gotta do the cooking by the book!
It’s 2019 and Farmville is still something I have to write about. We are truly in the worst timeline.
Morning Checkpoint is all about catching you up on the past week. You can email me anything you want or drop a comment below. Suggest tweets, comments, ideas, new sections and more for next week and thanks for reading!