Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Hands Down

Illustration for article titled Kotaku Shop Contest: Hands Down

Before you climb all over Bungie's boy band for doing nothing and still looking ridiculous at the PS4 event, I want you to understand how damn hard it is get on stage and do nothing with your hands and not look ridiculous. This is why people still use handheld microphones or speak at lecterns they can grip. Or should. Otherwise, you look like a spelling bee contestant.


OK, you understand now? Good. Let's climb all over them for looking ridiculous, in this week's 'Shop Contest!


That's (from left) audio director Marty O'Donnell, Bungie president Harold Ryan, executive producer Jonty Barnes and head of corporate development Ondraus Jenkins. From more than 1,800 frames in Bungie's one-minute appearance at the PS4 event, I found the one with the highest combined derp quotient.

I mean look at that. That thing tells a story. Mr. Ryan appears to be informing us of something mildly unfortunate, perhaps that the kitchen is now out of the hanger steak. Jonty looks like he's about to blink HELP ME in morse code to the camera. O'Donnell believes he has spied Ralph Macchio in the third row. And Ondraus—I lose it every time I get to him—has the look of a guy who spotted a rip in someone's pants, perhaps his boss's.

That's my story, but I don't have to stick to it. Give me a better one. Let's get to the 'Shoppah!

Source Image: Bungie's Boy Band.

Here's everything else you need to know about posting 'Shops in the comments.

1. Create your 'Shop and save it to your desktop.
2. Go to the comments beneath this post and click "reply."
3. Click "Add Image" in the comment window.
4. Click "Upload an Image Instead." Then click the "Choose File" button. Browse your desktop, find the image, and click "open."
5. If you prefer, you can upload the 'Shop to a free image hosting service. I suggest imgur. Then click "Add image" in the upper right above the comment window. Paste the image URL into the field that says "Image URL."
6. Add editorial commentary (you can't post an image without some kind of text in the comment field), then just hit submit and your image will load. If it doesn't, upload the image to imgur and paste the image URL as a comment. I promise I will look at it.
7. This is important: Keep your image size under 1 MB. If you're still having trouble uploading the image, try to keep its longest dimension (horizontal or vertical) under 1000 pixels.


All set? Great. Now, everyone, start your 'shopping!

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