In Japan, people are taking photos of adorable rabbits holding their smartphones. Surely we can come up with a better use for Nippon's overabundance of bunnies. Let's change the way consumers think about long-eared lagomorphs.

Imaginary scientists have proven there are more rabbits in Japan than there is air, and that's a made-up problem. What's Japan doing about it? Storing their expensive smartphones? Creating themed cafes? Letting them run wild on the street, devouring cute-addled passersby whole?

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Not good enough. If bunnies can hold smartphones, surely they can hold other things. Or drive taxis. Or be taxis. With selective breeding, bunnies could one day become hideous gashapon machines, eating coins and pooping out plastic bubbles filled with colorful toys.

Maybe not that last one.

Here's the point: Japan is re-purposing bunnies. We can re-purpose them better. Let your imagination run wild., but not too wild. I'd prefer these new consumer products not involve any overt bunny brutality. Yeah, it just got more difficult.

Entries are due by next Saturday. Get... hopping? Muhahaha. Ha. *cries*

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To contact the author of this post, write to fahey@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @bunnyspatial. Thanks to frequent 'Shop Content contributor uscg_pa for helping me brainstorm ideas. One day I'll let him win.