Hey, so the ESRB released its ratings certificate for Kinect Star Wars, let's read along: "In this action game, based on the Star Wars universe," mmhm, yeah, "players use their body movements to perform activities," right, gotcha, "that include dance tournamentsā€”"

Fuck the heck?

That's right, folks, Kinect Star Wars, which has gone through two shoulder-shrugging unveilings at E3 in 2010 and 2011, before righting the ship (sort of) this summer, has apparently added dancing minigames as a way to engage players' Jedi fantasies.

Podracing, that's OK. Not my cup of tea, but I was raised on the original trilogy. And while the game involves a bone-crunching, Gamorrean-snacking Rancor, we already knew about that (and the podracing) from this document leaked six months ago. A dance contest is a total blindside. I don't know of anyone in either generation dying to get their groove on to Lapti Nek.


Good news, though, "in the dancing mini-game, some female characters perform suggestive moves (e.g., gyrating their hips/buttocks) and wear revealing outfits (partially exposed cleavage/buttocks). The words "damn" and "hell" can be heard in the dialogue."


Damn, this game really went to hell, didn't it.

Kinect Star Wars [ESRB, via Joystiq]