Hariyama Slaps So Hard They Stop Trains And Send Trucks Flying

Illustration for article titled Hariyama Slaps So Hard They Stop Trains And Send Trucks Flying
Image: The Pokemon Company / Kotaku

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Hariyama!

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Hariyama Details

Type: Fighting

Average Height: 7' 07

Average Weight: 559 lbs

First Added In Generation III


When I was much younger, an older man told me that slapping someone is more powerful than punching them. That a solid slap can stop a person dead in their tracks. I don’t remember much about this encounter and to this day I’ve never slapped anyone. But it turns out that weird old dude was right. And if you slap REALLY hard, like Hariyama, you can stop a damn train or send a pickup truck flying into the air.

According to Pokedex entries found on Bulbapedia, Hariyama is Pokemon with some powerful slaps. This seems to come down to two things. One, it has large hands, which lets it slap better. (That’s just science.) Two, while it looks like a chunky boy, all that fat is actually muscle. So, take that much muscle attached to huge hands and you have a deadly slap-monster. Or do you?

The thing is, while it might seem dangerous and even, potentially, deadly, Hariyama is said to be kind. It even values etiquette and will go as far as to complement its opponents during a battle. It does still slap the living shit out of them, but it at least coats that hit in some praise.

However, this whole gentle giant persona is a tad bit suspect. Why? Because we have tons of reference to it slapping trucks into the sky, stopping trains, and breaking telephone poles clean in half. That doesn’t sound like the kind of things a kind creature would do. Maybe they have some anger issues? Or maybe they have good PR helping to protect their image. I’ll be watching you, Hariyama... I’ll be watching.

Random Facts

  • According to one Pokedex entry, it can send 10-ton trucks flying into the air. That’s a massive slap.
  • I would not want to play “Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake” with this thing. I need my hands for video games and typing.
  • I also wouldn’t give Hariyama a high-five for the same reasons as above.

Best Comment From Last Week

“I think maybe an authority of some type needs to investigate the Delibirds. It seems they are running some kind of Pokemon trafficking scheme.”

-Jewbacca

Breaking News:
Kotaku can confirm that Delibird has been arrested on multiple charges of kidnapping, trafficking Pokemon, and various charges related to tax fraud and evasion. This is a developing story.

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Previously On Here’s Another Pokemon...

Kotaku Weekend Editor | Zack Zwiezen is a writer living in Kansas. He has written for GameCritics, USgamer, Kill Screen & Entertainment Fuse.

DISCUSSION

SwarmofKoalas
Legless Legolas' LEGO Lass

HOLY SHIT THIS THING IS ONLY TWO FEET TALL?

I know pokemon skew smaller than you’d expect, but I always thought this guy was huge.

EDIT: Looked it up to be safe. Bulbapedia lists it at 7'7" and 559 lbs so I think you might be using last week’s stats Zack lol