Hardware Store Simulator

Want me to punch-a-size your face, for free? Gimme a liter o' cola. I don't want a large farva, I want a goddamn…

Listen, loyalty is very touching. But it is not the most important thing in your life right now! But what is…

May 21st, 2011, it's gonna feel pretty fucking real to you too. Anybody not wearing 2 million sunblock is gonna have…

This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for coupons. I'm gonna have deals and you're gonna have…

I can't believe this, Wyatt. I'm so disappointed in us. All our lives we've been saying how great it would be if we…

I grab a deal. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day long got my foot up a deal's ass. Just bang,…

I think I've turned a corner. I beat the shit out of some kids today. But it was for a purpose. It made me feel good…

There's no way on earth we're going to get out of here tonight. We'd have more luck playing pickup sticks with our…

In sports, they say it's not how you lose but when you lose. In that case, NBA Elite picked a great time, because…

No real theme to this week's deals, but that means there's a wide array of cheap stuff being offered out there -…