This is not what I eggspected. According to Pennsylvania state police, someone recently made off with a partial truckload of premium, top-shelf, organic eggs. The thief absconded with their protein-rich haul in the night, and now appears to be dust in the wind.
The fowl play took place on February 1 around 8:40 p.m. at a distribution trailer for Pete & Gerry’s Organics in Antrim Township, according to the State Police. No further leads as to who stoles the eggs or why have been shared so far. Law enforcement estimated the value of the 100,000 eggs at $40,000, which if you’ve ever gazed longingly at Pete & Gerry’s free range extra large brown eggs on the shelf at the grocery store sounds like low-balling it.
“We take this matter seriously and are committed to resolving it as quickly as possible,” Pete & Gerry’s told USA Today in a statement.
The unusual heist recalls the PlayStation 5 snatchings that occasionally happened back in 2020, when the launch console was super-rare and hard to find. The internet lit up with tales of roving UK gangs raiding trucks full of PS5s and drivers absconding with undelivered consoles.
Now, with prices spiking because of the bird flu outbreak, eggs are the luxury items on everyone’s mind. Sure, they’re still super-cheap compared to gaming consoles, but the roughly 20 percent spike in prices in recent months hits doubly hard. The pain isn’t only felt in our wallets but in our stomachs as well.
Luxury purchases feel different than a few unexpected extra bucks on carefully scrutinized grocery bills. I used to eat a dozen eggs at week at least. Eggs on toast. Eggs on noodles. Hard boiled. Soft boiled. Omelets. I was a fiend for these golden delights. No longer. I’m not quite ready to pawn my PS5 for a month’s supply of eggs, but I no longer instantly perish the thought.
I doubt this mystery thief is a Robin Hood, preparing to doll out free eggs in the woods of Western PA. But I do wonder what you actually do with 100,000 stolen eggs. Make a giant cake? Sell them on eBay? I will be watching the development of this story with great interest, and many pangs of hunger.
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