Reader Samshel Darkspear has a rather interesting job. He freelances for porn sites. Not as a cameraman, or an actor, but for the actual sites. As a headline writer.
It's about the only writing you can do for a porn site these days (sorry literary fetishists!), I guess, but someone needs to do it, and Samshel is one of chosen.
Because the job is mind-numbing (he likens it to a game tester...sounds awesome, but is actually awful), as he has to sift through the actual videos to do it, he's got an interesting fallback for when it all gets a bit much.
"The one thing that keeps me sane after browsing through endless hours of German porn, using more degrading terms to describe female performers than a rapper after a bad break-up, and having to come up with unique titles for the same video a hundred times, is a very simple thing", he says.
"I like to sneak videogame references into porn titles or descriptions whenever possible. Yes, I once wrote 'She used to be an adveturer like you until she took a dick in the ass', only to see it be an invalid name due to the character limit, but one day...one day I'll get it."
Here's some more he's been working on.
These two Princesses take a pounding to their shaved peaches
Her face falls under the shadow of her lover's colossal cock
This spanish stud's cumshot technique is super effective!
And, well, you get the idea. Before you accuse them of being so damn cheesy, he knows. It's part of the charm. And also part of the therapy.
So, adult readers, next time you're browsing your favourite adult site and see a headline that sounds a little familiar, you may well have Samshel to thank for it!