No one will be seated during the thrilling hot dog scene in the first five minutes of Wolfenstein: The Old Blood.

If B.J. Blazkowicz had Google translate back in 1947 perhaps the second World War would have ended much differently than the way it did in Wolfenstein: The New Order. Then again, if he had Google translate he’d also have Google, and would be far too busy surfing porn to bother with the Nazis and their odd hot dog fetish.

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It’s only the first five minutes, but already the standalone prequel to MachineGames’ hit shooter is packed with delicious campy fun. I’m kind of dreading moving on to the actual killing bits.

Wolfenstein: The Old Blood is a standalone prequel to the critically acclaimed first-person action-adventure shooter, Wolfenstein: The New Order. The adventure, which spans eight chapters and two interconnected stories, features the hallmarks of MachineGames – thrilling action, immersive story and intense first-person combat. As war hero B.J. Blazkowicz, arm yourself with new weapons such as the bolt-action rifle and grenade-launching Kampfpistole as you attempt to thwart the advancing Nazi war machine, and take advantage of duel-wielding pipes that can be used for wall climbing – or for vicious take-downs of never-before-seen Nazi adversaries.

Duel-wielding pipes? Bring on the actual killing bits!

The First Five is the first five minutes of a game with light commentary. Once the five minutes are up, so are we.

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