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CultureKotaku Game DiaryWe Gotta Talk About This Main Story Quest In A Realm Reborn
My journey through Final Fantasy XIV continues apace. My bard and black mage are now at level 46, and I’m currently questing through the icy Coerthas, which seems oddly French with all the names ending in -x and -eau. When I first started playing, my circle of FF14-playing friends all told me to be patient.…
By Ash Parrish -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryBowser’s Fury Co-Op Sucks, But Super Mario 3D World’s Is Amazing
Nintendo’s first big release of 2021, Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury, packages together a re-release of a seven-year-old game alongside a new, yet bite-sized, adventure. The main draw is the latter, which offers a showcase of what an open-world Mario game could be. What’s more, Bowser’s Fury technically has a couch co-op mode.…
By Ari Notis -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryFriendship Ended with Azeroth, Now Final Fantasy XIV Is My Best Friend
I’ve done it. I’ve finally begun my journey with Final Fantasy XIV, after six years of aborted attempts I made it through the still strangely unfriendly onboarding process and am now roaming free in the world of Eorzea. This was a long time coming. This previously glaring omission in my Final Fantasy record lead to…
By Ash Parrish -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryI Killed A Dancing Bear In Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, Feel Terrible, And Would Do It Again
Lurking out in the fields and forests of Assassin’s Creed Valhalla are immensely powerful beasts. The kind of animals that people tell stories about. Dangerous, killer monsters that only a hardy, brave, and perhaps foolish warrior could…Oh wait, never mind. It got stuck in the ground like an idiot. Since wrapping up the main story…
By Zack Zwiezen -
CultureKotaku Game Diary17 Years Later And I Still Can’t Beat Hannibal In Age Of Empires
Xbox Game Pass has once again proven its worth by allowing me to confront a bully of my past: the Carthaginian general Hannibal Barca. Yes, I’m serious. Every night for the last two weeks, when normal people would wind down for bed with a nice hot mug of tea and their favorite background noise show,…
By Ash Parrish -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryI Hope This Final Fantasy XIV NPC Finally Got To Take A Dump
One meets a variety of NPCs while playing Final Fantasy XIV. Some can be pretty annoying—looking at you, Thancred—while others are instantly memorable. A poor Ishgardian sentry who desperately needs to find a bathroom while her country is being invaded by dragons falls into the latter category. At the beginning of Final Fantasy XIV’s patch…
By Ian Walker -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryHey Agent 47, Slow Down On The Stairs, You Could Hurt Someone
I’ve been putting a bunch of time into Hitman 3 since it launched a few weeks ago. It’s very good, if a little too heavy on storytelling, but I can’t help but cringe a little every time I’m asked to follow an NPC up or down a flight of stairs. Hitman 3 anti-hero Agent 47…
By Ian Walker -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryMy Madden 21 Says The Chiefs Won The Super Bowl, And I Accept That Reality
This morning Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs were awarded the Vince Lombardi trophy after defeating Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 36 to 20 in my Madden 21 simulation of Super Bowl XV. Sounds right to me. In my simulated game, which played out on my Xbox Series X console at 11…
By Mike Fahey -
CultureKotaku Game DiarySo, I May Have Made A Mistake In Mass Effect 2
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I did everything right in Mass Effect 2. I slapped armor plating on the Normandy and equipped it with a shield. I gave it a big fucking cannon. I even tackled (most of) the game’s loyalty missions. I was ready for the final battle, and went through the…
By Ari Notis -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryToo Fast Too Fantasy XV, Finale: I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends
Last night, after just over a week of daily playing, I finished Final Fantasy XV. And I realize now why I stopped so near the end during my first run some five years ago. It was a defense mechanism, my body’s way of protecting itself from the emotions that are going to utterly ravage me…
By Ash Parrish -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryToo Fast Too Fantasy XV: Dawn Of The Final Day
Noctis drains his fifth elixir in as many minutes, rising to his feet as Prompto, Gladio, and Ignis groan on the ground. The aramusha lurks silently, waiting. When Noctis stands, the monster makes ready, body crouched, bony hand on the hilt of its egregiously long sword. “Can’t take much more of this.” Noctis thinks to…
By Ash Parrish -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryI Threw $1,000 Into That Stonks Game Because Why Not
My partner and I spent $1000 on a game yesterday. We didn’t spend it on Pokémon cards, or Fortnite V-bucks, or decide to become whales in Genshin Impact. But, at my insistence, we combined some funds, downloaded the Robinhood trading app, and bought some stock. I mean, why the hell not right? We’ve seen the…
By Ash Parrish -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryToo Fast Too Fantasy XV: Episode Gladio? More Like Episode Bad-io
When I sit down for my daily session of Final Fantasy XV I’m expecting one of two things: A happy-funtime road-trip adventure with my boys, or a sad, emotionally wrought meditation on the bonds of friendship. I am not expecting a horror-suspense thriller filled with stealth mechanics and jump-scares, yet that’s exactly what I got…
By Ash Parrish -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryToo Fast Too Fantasy XV: Planes, Trains, And Wrecked Automobiles
In my epic quest to finish Final Fantasy XV by Friday, I am literally and figuratively on a train that is barrelling toward the final stop. I am in FF15’s endgame—a section of short, brutal chapters that no longer allow you to freely roam the open roads of Eos. Even if I somehow could return…
By Ash Parrish -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryToo Fast Too Fantasy XV: Chocobros Vs. The Volcano
Stop the Regalia, I want to get out. In my quest to finish Final Fantasy XV before this Friday, when it disappears from both Xbox Game Pass and my Series S, I’ve reached the point in the game I’ve been dreading. It’s the moment when the story takes a 180-degree turn from lighthearted road-trip romp…
By Ash Parrish -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryToo Fast Too Fantasy XV: Late, Broke, And Bodied By A Behemoth
In my push to finish Final Fantasy XV before it leaves Xbox Game Pass I had hoped to make up for lost time. Doing the math, I figured I’ll need to cover an average of five hours a day. But after Day Two I only have a grand total of seven hours clocked on my…
By Ash Parrish -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryImmortals Fenyx Rising Lets Its Bad Dad Off The Hook Too Easily
Video games have a dad problem. My colleagues broached the topic a few months ago on an episode of Kotaku Splitscreen, where they dished on some of the worst dads in video game history. (What’s up, Kratos and Joel?) Now I’d like to nominate another member to the hall of fame of bad dads: Zeus,…
By Ari Notis -
CultureKotaku Game DiaryToo Fast, Too Fantasy XV: Eight Days To Go
There are eight days left until Final Fantasy XV disappears from Xbox Game Pass and thereby, my Xbox Series S. Yesterday, I embarked on an epic quest to start and finish Final Fantasy XV in the few days remaining, and after Day 1, I’m only [checks watch] three hours in. Oh boy. Technically that number…
By Ash Parrish
