Crusader Kings III's Cucumber King Is Not A Kinslayer, And You Can No Longer Mistake Your Infant Child For A Serial Killer

That’s right, it’s Crusader Kings III patch notes time.

The game—very likely my Game of The Year nomination—has already set a very high bar for patch notes, but this latest round has seen the mark improved.

I could list them all straight from Steam’s changelog, but really, it’s better—and more thematically appropriate—to hear them in the style of a town crier:

Laugh if you will, but these wouldn’t have been detected and fixed if people hadn’t run into them as actual issues.