"Hold X to pay respects? What does that mean? That's crazy! Is there a button for, 'I'm here because I thought I might meet somebody?'"

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Warning: minor Advanced Warfare campaign spoilers.

Conan O'Brien's latest "Clueless Gamer" segment is about Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, and it is certainly... something. Unsurprisingly, Conan is pretty taken aback by "Hold X to pay respects" and, er, Kevin Spacey's eyebrows. "They hired one of the greatest actors in the world, and then they give him the eyes of a carp that's been in the refrigerator for three days," he says of in-game Spacey's weaker moments.

Same as us! You know, we really should just hire Conan to work at Kotaku one of these days.

Also, fun fact: Conan is very bad at crossing the street.

"This is the hardest thing I've done in my life," he said after attempt 36. He finally made it on attempt 59.

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If you ever find him attempting to cross the street in a warzone full of jetpack cyborgs, give him a hand, will ya?