Click to viewOne of Funcom's Age of Conan GMs was duped into cybersex with a male player (playing a male avatar, too) and dismissed for spanking him/him/her with his big sword. The entire transcript went up to a MMORPG message board at the beginning of the month, and the incident is just now making the rounds. Put on your robe and wizard hat, and watch as one GM learns about virtual bodies, and what "fapping" means.

Here's how it went down: the troll summoned a GM and started flirting pretty heavily, soliciting him for some good ole role playing games. The GM is a bit nervous, but does his due diligence, which consists entirely of the following investigation and follow-up:

[|GM|]: um are you a real um woman?
[|GM|]: lol not crazy question
[|GM|]: you would be surprised.
To []: Yep. I just play a male character so guys don't flirt with me in game like on WoW.
[|GM|]: oh nice


The GM then summons the player to, if we do say so, a very romantic spot (pictured above), an outcropping near a crystal-blue lake. Their avatars remove some clothes and reposition themselves suggestively, and then the hot chat begins.

[|GM|]: lol its odd looking at a guy character… lol
[|GM|]: in rl?
To []: Huh?
To []: No, in game =[
[|GM|]: your panties wont come off in real life :)
[|GM|]: oh…
[|GM|]: I'll just have to tear them off and have my way lol
To []: YES!!!
To []: Whip out your massive sword too.
[|GM|]: ROFL
[|GM|]: lol you like?
To []: I can't jump up on top of it? =(
[|GM|]: hmm that could pose a problem :)
To []: =]
[|GM|]: you'll just have to take it until I am finished with you.
To []: Are you mighty warrior? Can you slay those meanies that attacked me? =(
To []: O.o you do like multiple people in on it eh? =)


Then the talk gets really nasty. You can find the entire transcript here, with more screenshots. And finally the troll informs him that he's on candid camera, in the only way a troll can.

To []: You're just as kinky as me
To []: Infact you're so kinky, you just cybered with a dude :P
[] shouts: THIS IS SPARTA


And then helpfully explains to the soon-to-be ex GM not only the situation but other terms of teh Interwebs.

To []: By the way, I've been fapping to this the whole time.
[|GM|]: lol why did you want this then lol you gay?
[|GM|]: are you serious?
To []: Serious about what?
[|GM|]: um what's fapping (not up to par on the ling) lol
To []: I was joking about the fapping, but I am indeed a dude.


Norwegian web site Itavisen [translated] says it has confirmation from Funcom product manager Erling Ellingsen that the GM in question was fired for unacceptable conduct. "We are aware of this matter, and necessary measures have been taken against them," Ellingsen said. "We have clear guidelines for all employees in Funcom, not least those who work with customer service, and if the guidelines are broken leads to the consequences."

This is troll behavior at its most rancid, but any GM who lacks that much skepticism - no doubt fueled by unrequited horniness - probably shouldn't be working the game in the first place.


A GM Cybers With a Player [ Forums, via Destructoid, with huge thanks to readers Johnny_Under and Cory R.]