Chuck Norris Brings the Pain... To Cell Phones

Illustration for article titled Chuck Norris Brings the Pain... To Cell Phones

FACT: When playing this game, your phone automatically puts 911 on speed dial. This Chuck Norris box art could be so bad-ass that it actually off-sets the fact that Chuck Norris Bring On the Pain is coming to a cell phone. Oh, did I mention that the chief bad guys are Fidel Castro and Kim Jong-il? That's right you better go out and buy a replacement phone now, because this one is going to KILL your current phone.According to Gameloft, the game has Norris taking on a rogue Soviet army in an attempt to save POWs from Cambodia. Next he has to save America from invasion. That's right, it makes no sense, but that's how Norris rolls. Gameloft calls the game a "hilarious dive into the life of the legend - martial arts action, denimclad justice, and going commando!" And by hilarious I'm sure Gameloft means kick-ass... unless they want Norris to snap their company over his knee. Bring on the Pain is said to play like an old-school beat-em-up and allows you to use traditional weapons or Norris' flesh-coated weapons. You can also take pics of your friends and turn them into enemies in the games. The only way this game could be more bad-ass is if it co-starred Evel Knievel. But I can understand why Gameloft didn't go that route, they don't want to get sued for all of those exploding phones.

Illustration for article titled Chuck Norris Brings the Pain... To Cell Phones

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"Unleash moves inspired by Chuck Norris' real-life powers including flaming fists, roundhouse kick takedowns, and throwing cars".

They are totally underselling the guy. Where's the Bear-Destroying Stare, or the ultimate Helicopter-Exploding high-kick?

Plus, "real-life powers"? Since when has The Norris been a Pokemon?