Poor President Trump has had his ickle wickle feelings hurt again, this time by an episode of South Park that reached new heights of government-breaking satire by depicting the current president as a big stupid idiot with a tiny penis. This, implausibly predictably, bothered him so much that the White House released a statement.
South Park returned this week after a three-week delay caused by contract negotiations over the series. This resulted in a mind-boggling $1.5 billion agreement for the show to be streamed and hosted on Paramount+ for the next five years.
This would be the same Paramount, owners of CBS, who so recently paid Trump $16 million to settle a lawsuit it almost definitely would have won, moments before announcing the cancellation of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. As it happens, earlier today the U.S. government cleared the way for Paramount and Skydance Media to merge in an $8 billion deal. Part of that deal involved Skydance pledging to appoint an ombudsman for the next few years to ensure there would be no “editorial bias” in its news coverage, as well as promising the FCC there would be no DEI initiatives at the company. Because we live in the most embarrassing timeline.
So it was with glorious timing that Comedy Central, also owned by Paramount, broadcast the first episode in the 27th season of South Park, in which the show decided to take an entirely new approach to how it presented Donald Trump. It’s testament to the extraordinarily fast turn-around of the animated program.
In the past, South Park has made the incredibly confusing decision to have Trump be portrayed as Mr. Garrison, the one-time teacher of the show’s main cast. As such, when the people of the town discovered that Trump was planning to sue anyone who didn’t agree that Christianity should be taught in schools (being South Park, this meant the literal Jesus showing up in the elementary school), their attempt at an uprising by visiting Mr. Garrison’s house was met with confusion. He was no longer in Washington. So who was?
Season 27's premiere features the reveal of their new Trump: Trump. Except, Trump by way of how South Park portrayed Saddam Hussein in the 1999 movie, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut: a split-headed photograph of the man himself, animated and speaking like the show’s Canadians, and in a sexual relationship with Satan. Complete with telling everyone to “Relax!” all the time.
However, seemingly not satisfied with this one-to-one sameness they’d created between their versions of Hussein and Trump, South Park creators Troy Parker and Matt Stone decided they needed to go another step and set Trump apart. So, not only was Trump sweet on Satan, but he also has a comically tiny penis.
Speaking on a panel at the ongoing San Diego Comic-Con, IGN reports the pair explained they had to fight with their network to keep his teeny winky unblurred on screen. Then, there was “a whole conversation with a lot of grown-up people for about four fucking days” over whether they could give the itty-bitty dick eyes. They won on both counts.
At first, Trump is shown going into the White House bedroom to talk to a sulky Satan and taking off all his clothes to reveal a minuscule little member so small as to be hard to see. However, that changes rather significantly toward the end of the episode. The people of South Park have realized they need to kowtow to Trump’s petty whims after Jesus mumbles to them, in a new sermon on the mount, that he’s only agreed to help as part of Paramount’s agreement in settling their lawsuit, and if they don’t start doing what Trump wants, their own town (show) will be cancelled. The very obvious parallels are then taken a step further, as they town settles with Trump for $3.5 million (“We’ll just have to cut some funding for our schools and hospitals and roads and that should be that,” says the mayor), and an agreement to start featuring “pro-Trump messaging.”
The first example of this—and it really does seem like it’s setting this up to be an ongoing theme—is a PSA that appears to be created using deepfake technology, showing a photorealistic Trump staggering through the desert, removing all his clothes, and then collapsing on the sand. At this point, his micro-schlong appears from between his legs and—with animated eyes and a mouth—announces, “I’m Donald J. Trump and I endorse this message.” (It’s worth noting that the penis is clearly a finger with a bit of rubber around the middle.) This is then followed by the voiceover’s statement, “Trump; his penis is teeny-tiny, but his love for us is large.” It then fades to reveal a URL: HeTrumpedUs.com.
As is always the case with South Park, the whole episode was politically ambiguous and never cathartic for anyone. Alongside the Trump/Satan plot, there was a limp B-plot with Eric so devastated at the end of woke that he intends to commit suicide (and kill Butters), which he attempts to do with a hosepipe into an electric car. It plays out across far too many scenes, and takes forever to “pay off.”
People on all sides are very often upset or infuriated by the position the show has taken over the last 27 years. But despite the show’s history of being politically unsatisfying for anyone watching, the episode still managed to upset the cut-glass fragility of Trump’s ego. In fact, this was the angle they went with!
White House spokesperson Taylor Rogers sent out statements to sites like Rolling Stone and Variety about the episode saying, “The Left’s hypocrisy truly has no end—for years they have come after South Park for what they labeled as ‘offense’ [sic] content, but suddenly they are praising the show.” (Where “The Left” was performing this action is unclear.) Rogers goes on:
Just like the creators of South Park, the Left has no authentic or original content, which is why their popularity continues to hit record lows. This show hasn’t been relevant for over 20 years and is hanging on by a thread with uninspired ideas in a desperate attempt for attention. President Trump has delivered on more promises in just six months than any other president in our country’s history—and no fourth-rate show can derail President Trump’s hot streak.
Oh, it’s so delicious. Nothing says a show isn’t relevant like the president of America’s spokesperson releasing a statement about it.
And yes, never mind that South Park’s “record lows” involved it signing a $300-million-a-year contract this very week. 50 episodes for $1.5 billion. $30 million an episode.
Trump obviously cannot cope with any level of criticism, and as such detests all the various late-night talk shows that routinely scrutinize his rambling words. But what South Park showed us this week is that if you really want to upset the man, if you want to get far under his craw, you can’t do that with sharp analysis or witty satire; you just need to make him look pathetic.
It speaks so poorly of South Park’s creators that they went the Garrison route for covering Trump in the past. It’s that attitude that the need to be iconoclastic is always more important than the need to be punching in the right directions that regularly makes the show feel off. If everyone’s railing on the president, then their inclination is, instead, to rail against everyone. So it’s fascinating that they clearly found their line and decided, for once, to move in the same direction as the wind.
It’s also splendid that it meant yet another Paramount-broadcast program was so openly speaking out against the actions of its parent company and its capitulation to the Trump government, joining those speaking up for Colbert, and joining the chorus singing “Go fuck yourself.”
.