Back in June, upon the reveal that Nintendo would be remaking The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I compiled a list of all the Weird Little Guys in that game that I was stoked to see make a reappearance. Coming fresh off my first full playthrough of the game this last January, I had a lot of ideas. The game is full of these fellas!
I am thrilled to say that every last one of the Weird Little Guys from my original list made it into the remake in some capacity. I am less thrilled to say that many of their appearances are a downgrade from the original, though a few stand-outs actually improved in the transition.
Let’s check in on all the Weird Little Guys and see how they fared on the Nintendo Switch 2:
Redead
In a still screenshot, these things now just look like dorky Halloween costumes. In action, they remain pretty terrifying. By blending these two conflicting energies, however, we end up with a Weird Dude.
This guy
Massive, massive downgrade. His old polygonal look was way weirder. And his dialogue is different now, he no longer says that everyone he encounters is “disgusting.” Something about that word choice really worked for me in a way that this antisocial whining does not.
Happy Mask Salesman
About what I expected. Some people seem to think that his more elaborate outfit in this remake is a sign that Majora’s Mask is imminent, but I feel like he just wanted to dress up for the occasion. No issues here—the shadow on his face is a good touch.
Great Fairy
Flawless. Perfect as she was in the original. I’m thrilled. No notes.
Deku Business Scrub
I think in the remake he comes off as more pathetic than weird, but I think his look is still pretty good.
Cojiro
The original Cojiro had more of a beady, Stardew Valley-ish look to his eye, which I found cuter. But cute is not the measure of Weird Little Guy-dom. Cojiro continues to dazzle.
Dead Hand
Oh God, yeah. I was worried this guy would lose some of his freakiness in the remake but this look combined with the jerky movement really works.
This face in the wall
The new freaky face in the wall is superb. Wonderfully menacing, I love it. My only real issue is that now it’s very clear that the dialogue about taking a ferry to another world is coming from the plaque on the floor, rather than from the statue creepily whispering it.
Bongo Bongo
I’m demoting this guy off the freak list because he is now simply too scary. I do not find the bongos funny anymore. Please get me out of here. Oh my God.
Eyeball frog
Hmm. Again I’m torn. Ultimately I think this is an improvement simply because new eyeball frog is nice and round in a way the old one wasn’t.
Biggoron
Biggoron has never done anything wrong in his life. Once again standing in as the representative for all the Weird Little Gorons, Biggoron continues to be the biggest little guy of them all.
Rauru
Hmm, no. I’m demoting him. No longer a Weird Little Guy. Just an owl.
To whoever it was who said in the comments last time that this wasn’t Rauru: this is Rauru.
Mario
I’m so happy they kept Mario in this game, I was worried they’d remove him so as not to confuse the kids.
These frogs
Eyes aren’t big enough.
Skulltula-Man
YIKES! A+
Scarecrow
Cute as buttons. Says “Howdy” when you grapple to him. Apparently named Pierre? Still absolutely a Weird Little Guy.
This…thing?
Ok what the fuck this is the best one, bar none. They took the freakiest of the freaks and upped the freak even more. Love this totally unnecessary horror show.
King Zora
Still weird, still a guy, also now apparently chewy?
Koume and Kotake
These two have been Weird Little Guying since before we were born.
Ganondorf
At the end of my last list, I pondered whether or not Ganondorf should qualify at all. He’s a pretty serious villain and for the most part doesn’t have any Weird Little Guy energy. He probably has even less in the remake.
But then I thought—where did the organ even come from? Was it there already in Hyrule Castle, and he spent seven years mastering it instead of conquering all the bits of Hyrule he hasn’t gotten to yet? Or has he always been an organ virtuoso, and had this organ painstakingly built in the castle so he could flex on Link as he walked up the stairs?
Weird. Weird Little Guy behavior.
Honorary Inductee: Deku Tree Sprout
I entirely forgot this guy existed when I made the original list. The line in the screenshot alone catapulted him onto it, though.
Honorary Inductee: Link
I probably should have included him on the original list, but I think the remake makes it all the more apparent than ever that he’s just a weird little dude in a big, scary world. His dialogue is full of little touches that suggest he’s kind of a little snot, that he loves making little jokes and getting into trouble. Can the fate of Hyrule really rest upon such a lazy boy? Yes. Yes it can. If and only if that lazy boy is a Weird Little Guy.
