Twitter reveals the story of Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco's afternoon today, in which the Bengals receiver boasts of his gamer cred, can't configure his wireless, fulminates at the lack of avatars that look like him, and finally tweets his gamertag.

At about 2 p.m. Ocho, apparently in the mood for some Madden, touts his gamer bonafides to warn off someone looking for trouble:

My, Mr. Ocho Cinco, that's an impressive console resume. How much time have you spent on the 360?

What the hell? He claims to beat this much ass at games, and he doesn't even have a 360 account?! And Black Mexican? Yeah, that won't get moderated.


Alright, OK, fine. He's a busy guy six months out of the year (seven, if they ever made the playoffs). Chad then gets down to hooking up his wireless adapter. I can identify with him here, because it can be a bitch. But I didn't call my ISP to get a freaking WEP password to a router I owned.


Then ESPN's Jemele Hill pops in the door, and Ocho Cinco makes sure she knows, despite all this trouble hooking everything up, he's still a bad man online.

Finally! Chad Ocho Cinco is online to beat ass galore! After he picks a Gamertag and an avatar. Ruh roh ...


Never mind, he settles on another homage to his jersey number and Spanish heritage.


And then, after pretty much everyone retweeted it (including Electronic Arts), the predictable conclusion to this afternoon psychodrama:

For the record, I tried to friend Ochocinco and got the mailbox-full notice.

Chad Ocho Cinco on Twitter [Twitter]