Certified Slow Things Made Faster

Illustration for article titled Certified Slow Things Made Faster

It's a well-established fact that a watched pot never boils, Kotakuite Neo Deus tells us.

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"So I figured a solid racing stripe should solve the dilemma by making the water boil faster. Unfortunately, my initial math didn't work out, as I soon learned that NEVER x FASTER = NEVER (still). This makes me a sad - and slow - chef."

What's going on? We're giving away a copy of Xbox 360 game Race Pro.

Racing stripes make race cars go faster. Face it, they do. Just look at Race Pro's box art. Here's the contest: Put racing stripes on something - anything*!

Racing stripes on a phone? It goes faster. Racing stripes on a cat? It goes faster. Racing stripes on a mop? That's right, it goes faster. On a lawn gnome?

Illustration for article titled Certified Slow Things Made Faster


Jedijoe9 writes, "Most things are too damn fast already. But not lawn gnomes."

Entries must be 807 pixels wide and in JPEG format. There needs to be a Kotaku sign in the photo as well. Please send entries to kotakucontestATgmailDOTcom.

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Winner gets a copy of Race Pro. Losers get INTERNET FAME. Contest ends this Sunday.

*Note: You actually have to put stripes on something - Photoshop doesn't count!

DISCUSSION

And thats why my friend you need a gas stove.