4. Delicious rats, Vampyr
You can eat the rats in Vampyr, which morally sickens its protagonist and titular vampire, Jonathan. When you lead him to a yummy rat to feed his bloodlust, he repeats a few pained lines of dialogue, saying, “This is despicable,” and, “I cannot believe I’m doing this.” Get over it, Jonny. These are utility rats.
How nice is this rat? It’s nice of the rats to sacrifice their lives, albeit unwillingly. We must honor the rats for this. 10/10
How stylish is this rat? I don’t think the rats are worrying about what they look like when a vampire gargles on their blood, but we can’t fault them for that. 3/10
Is this rat free of disease? Vampyr takes place in 1918, when London was getting torn apart by the Spanish flu and other awesome diseases. These are yucky rats full of worms probably. But man, are they tasty. 0/10
Best friend score: 4.3
