Welcome to "Backhanded Box Quotes," a collection of super pissed-off user reviews from people just like you! Whoa, whoa, don't take that personal.
This week, Backhanded Box quotes encounters several conflicting opinions among our panel of critics. Some critics even disagree with themselves.
Ninja Gaiden 3
Released: March 20
Critic: Nandusky (Metacritic).
• "[I]s a absolutely trash for casuals."
• "Pathetic game and nice way to destroy one of the best games."
Score: 1
Critic: Selaphiel (Metacritic).
• "This is the Cars 2 of Team Ninja."
Score: 0
Critic: MrMoon360 (Metacritic).
• "This game is not Ninja Gaiden. Its garbage."
• "You will become absorbed in a world filled with easy killes and profuse QTE events."
Score: 3
Critic: Zenigame96 (Metacritic).
• "Do I really feel like this game deserves a 10? No, not at all."
Score: 10
Angry Birds Space
Released: March 22.
Critic: dbag4000 (Amazon Android App Store).
• "Sucks d!€k."
• "Horrible game, not enough levels for 2.99, maps also suck hairy @%&&s!"
• "[O]h and another thing, worst extension to a series ever."
Score: 1 Star
Critic: BARTMAN® (Metacritic).
• "CRASHES, CRASHES, CRASHES, CRASHES, CRASHES, CRASHES, CRASHES."
• "[O]h and did I mention it CRASHES?"
Score: 1 Star
Critic: chino1009 (Metacritic).
• "[N]no sirve se cierra a cada momento es una basura!!!"
Score: 1 Star
Critic: Slayerskill (iTunes).
• "I was playing lvl 29 and i was about to beat the lvl and in th emiddle of me luanching my bird it swicthed to the eagle and used my token PLZ FIX AND ILL GIVE A 4-5 STAR REVEIW!"
Score: 1 Star
Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City
Released: March 20.
Critic: tsenG (Metacritic).
• "Half of the disc are just DLC waiting to be released."
• "I remember the old days of Crapcom when they released full games like RE1 to RE3."
Score: 4
Critic: arkan007 (Metacritic).
• "This game would have been better off as a .99 cent download for a smartphone or iPad. "
Score: 3
Silent Hill: Downpour
Released: March 13.
Critic: carpejason (Metacritic).
• "SAVE YOUR MONEY, BUY RESIDENT EVIL OPERATION RACCOON CITY INSTEAD."
Score: 2
Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku's Anger Management hour, unless it isn't.