Welcome back to "Backhanded Box Quotes," a collection of measured, thoughtful criticism from the user reviews of Metacritic, Amazon and elsewhere. Good luck getting a job with Irrational Games if your game shows up here.
Released: July 10
Critic: guillermop (Metacritic)
• "This game is alpha quality at best this game is trash, am I a EA hater? for sure, they definitely deserve the hate."
Released: July 18.
Critic: SkidRowTrash (Metacritic)
• "[The music] is downright offensive to your ears. Absolutely the worst trash I have ever heard with the exception of a few."
Critic: AnthonyG (Metacritic)
• "Whenever your skater falls over. The screen flashes a huge bright white light for a few seconds tlll it restarts. This has given me a massive headache and hurt my eyes after only a very short game. It really is that bad."
Released: Aug. 1
Critic: Dilop93 (Metacritic)
• "BORIIIING, Microsoft, You owe me 4 hours of my life."
Released: July 17
Critic: mayhem7 (Metacritic)
• "Don't get fooled by the media ratings, this game is simply boring. It feels like you don't have a clue what you are doing and simple button smashing works better than attempting to do it right."
Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku's Anger Management hour, unless it isn't.