Welcome back to "Backhanded Box Quotes," a collection of measured, thoughtful, sometimes plagiarized criticism from the user reviews of Metacritic and elsewhere.
This week, well, what can we say. Resident Evil 6 released to a critical bloodbath. Metacritic counts 2,688 negative consumer reviews—not all of them written—for this title, and it's not just because people are upset about DLC or a bad ending. I'll just step aside and let them take over, because holy shit, this is bad.
Released: Sept. 25
Critic: Karibito (Metacritic)
• "The reason It gets a 0 from me, is because it has the misleading title of a numbered RE sequel but the product i ended up playing was something like Gears of War meets CoD."
• "RIP Resident Evil series. You were once a mighty God of the videogame industry and now you've been reduced to a flushed turd down a toilet drain."
Critic: Darkaroff (Metacritic)
• "En fin señores estamos ante una ESTAFA por parte de CAPCOM!!!! Esto no es Resident Evil, si eres fan de la Saga ni se te ocurra comprarte este BODRIO!!!!"
Critic: hersheygames (Metacritic)
• "Resident Evil 6 is so devoid of horror elements and is such a typical dudebro action game for the casual masses that it vomits laziness, insulting effort and sheer boredom."
Critic: Busterofwar (Metacritic)
• "A poor attempt at turning Resident Evil into Uncharted with awful action scenes and a billion quick-time events."
Critic: Nichtswisser (Metacritic)
• "It's like trying to have sex with your girlfriend while the phone rings every minute or so."
Score: 4. Hey. It's still sex.
Critic: CriticoDubioso (Metacritic)
• "NO COMPRÉIS SEMEJANTE INSULTO A LA SAGA."
Critic: Kalashr (Metacritic)
• "This game is like a cancer in late-stage. Don't want to see it ever again. My eyes are bleeding after 10 minutes of gameplay."
Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku's Anger Management hour, unless it isn't.