Welcome back to “Backhanded Box Quotes,” a collection of measured, thoughtful, sometimes plagiarized criticism from the user reviews of Metacritic and elsewhere.
This week, well, what can we say. Resident Evil 6 released to a critical bloodbath. Metacritic counts 2,688 negative consumer reviews—not all of them written—for this title, and it’s not just because people are upset about DLC or a bad ending. I’ll just step aside and let them take over, because holy shit, this is bad
https://kotaku.com/six-reviewers-really-cant-agree-on-resident-evil-6-5949125
Resident Evil 6
Released: Sept. 25
Critic: Karibito (Metacritic)
• “The reason It gets a 0 from me, is because it has the misleading title of a numbered RE sequel but the product i ended up playing was something like Gears of War meets CoD.”
Score: 0
Critic:TheWarHorse (Metacritic)
• “RIP Resident Evil series. You were once a mighty God of the videogame industry and now you’ve been reduced to a flushed turd down a toilet drain.”
Score: 1
Critic: Darkaroff (Metacritic)
• “En fin señores estamos ante una ESTAFA por parte de CAPCOM!!!! Esto no es Resident Evil, si eres fan de la Saga ni se te ocurra comprarte este BODRIO!!!!”
Score: 0
Critic: hersheygames (Metacritic)
• “Resident Evil 6 is so devoid of horror elements and is such a typical dudebro action game for the casual masses that it vomits laziness, insulting effort and sheer boredom.”
Score: 0
Critic: Busterofwar (Metacritic)
• “A poor attempt at turning Resident Evil into Uncharted with awful action scenes and a billion quick-time events.”
Score: 0
Critic: Nichtswisser (Metacritic)
• “It’s like trying to have sex with your girlfriend while the phone rings every minute or so.”
Score: 4. Hey. It’s still sex.
Critic: CriticoDubioso (Metacritic)
• “NO COMPRÉIS SEMEJANTE INSULTO A LA SAGA.”
Score: 0
Critic: Kalashr (Metacritic)
• “This game is like a cancer in late-stage. Don’t want to see it ever again. My eyes are bleeding after 10 minutes of gameplay.”
Score: 0
Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku’s Anger Management hour, unless it isn’t.
