There are so many things wrong with this "Attack of the Saints" trailer for Hitman: Absolution, starting with the fact that the Saints don't so much attack as they walk forward in slow motion as Agent 47 takes them out one-by-one.

It seems silly to me that Square Enix decided to play up the fetish nun angle in yesterday's teaser image, only to have Agent 47 viciously take them all out in today's trailer. I'm going to assume there's more to these fish-netted fanatics than seven women in tattered goth gear having their blood spilled all over a seedy motel parking lot.


And did you catch the bit in the motel room where they show the Band-Aid covering 47's barcode? Looks like he tried to remove it himself, though anyone that's ever worked a cash register knows that tiny bit peeking out at the top is enough to find out how much a reforming hired killer runs these days.

So what's the message here? What's the point?

If you're going after one of the world's deadliest men, skip the synchronized walking and go straight to blowing up the building. Just because you call yourselves the Saints doesn't mean you can't fire until you're in a row. Choreography kills.

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