A New World Record In Donkey Kong: 1,127,700 Points!

Illustration for article titled A New World Record In emDonkey Kong/em: 1,127,700 Points!

1,127,700 had replaced 1,110,100 as Donkey Kong champion Hank Chien's newest high score, adding more proof to the idea that the dude simply can't be stopped.

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This is, what, the third or fourth time that Chien has beaten his own high score to stay the King of Kong, right? Isn't this guy a plastic surgeon? Aren't there lives for him to improve? Doesn't he want to settle down and have kids? How about at least a vacation, Hank? One that doesn't involve flying a DK machine to some sunny locale?

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Hank, it's been two years and things have gotten to the point where your fellow DK competitors are asking you to retire. The Kong-Off 2—which gathers the best DK players at one location for glorious live competitionis coming. So, you know what to do, Hank.

Don't stop winning, Dr. Chien. Ever.

How high can he get? Hank Chien does it again [Patrick Scott Patterson]

Note: The original headline for this post was A New World Record: Hank Chien Obviously Has Nothing Better to Do Than Play Donkey Kong All Day Long. While it was intended to be playful and tongue-in-cheek, it's been read literally by some readers. That was not the intent, so, to avoid confusion, we've changed it.

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DISCUSSION

Another day on Kotaku, and the shitty articles are still flowing. I want to be a "Gamer Journalist", but am going to be incredibly disrespectful to someone who is actually making a contribution to gaming.

BUT HE NO WANT PUSSY???!one_shift_1

HE NO SHUD PLAY NE MORE!!!1

And then at the very end, don't stop winning. I simply do not understand you Evan. You make an article with a negative header, that brings people in with a sense of negativity, you pretty much flame the guy for being a passionate gamer, mention how he should get laid and do something else, and then encourage him to continue. You are setting the bar pretty low for "Gamer Journalism", and somehow you still didn't even hit it. Amazing.