Friday, June 2, was National Doughnut Day in the States, the day we celebrate fried sweet dough, torus-shaped and otherwise. Nabisco celebrated this joyous holiday by reminding us that there’s nothing quite like a warm jelly doughnut, especially not a creme-filled sandwich cookie.

In the hierarchy of things you don’t put in your mouth, fireworks are right up there with razor blades and hobos, but nothing will stand in the way of Nabisco’s relentless quest to keep Snacktaku from eating things that aren’t Oreos.

Now thats it’s finished tasting game cartridges, Snactaku moves on to something slightly more edible. We were unsure about the Easter-themed combination of Marshmallow Peeps and Oreo cookies, but now we are completely certain our entire digestive tract is currently bright pink.

After spending 2016 eating strange and horrible things, Snacktaku is kicking off the year on a high note. Let January 20, 2017 be forever known as the day Snacktaku ate Chocolate Strawberry Oreos, one of the best limited edition flavors in ages.

The look of terror in my eyes is half the idea of Oreo cookies filled with Swedish Fish “flavor creme,” half the outrageous pressure put on me to eat them from the moment they became a real thing. I have done your bidding. Please release my family. The good ones, at least.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Both are technically edible. Blueberry Pie Oreos are a sort of a pale violet that looks nothing like something that should make its way to your stomach.

Only the dedicated food scientists at Nabisco could create a chocolate and cream cookie that tastes slightly different from another chocolate and cream cookie. Or maybe a cupcake? It’s hard to say.

When you’re a massive international snack company, there’s no better way to celebrate the holidays than pumping your signature cookie filling with red food coloring and peppermint oil. Let’s eat some of that.

Remember when you’d go camping as a kid and sit around a campfire roasting marshmallows for s’mores? I don’t, which is why I used a cigarette lighter on a S’mores Oreo instead.

Really? There are Pumpkin Spice Oreos now? Fine. Let's get this over with.