Due to a rapid-fire barrage of novel new flavors, Snacktaku has instituted a temporary moratorium on Oreo videos. But then they had to go and drag apple pie into this. Fine, Nabisco, but you’re not getting a video. Let’s talk Apple Pie Oreos.
With Snacktaku threatening to morph into Oreotaku, I’ve been doing my very best to avoid the novel new flavors Nabisco’s been lobbing our way recently. You won’t see a review of PB & J Oreos, for example, especially hot on the heels of Jelly Donut Oreos.
But I have a problem resisting anything with “apple pie” in the title. I am a connoisseur of anything involving heated apples, sugar and some sort of crunch, which is a fancy way of saying, “Hi, I’m Mike and I am an apple pie addict.” Traditional, Dutch, that lovely caramelized upside-down French thing, plain or with a slice of cheddar melted on top (McWhertor Style)—my passion transcends pie boundaries, straying into the realm of cobblers and crumbles.
I love all of those things, but what I was expecting was straight-up apple pie. Sliced apples, crust, sugar, boom. A pie worthy of starring in a 1970s Chevrolet ad campaign.
It’s right there on the bag. Look at that deep dish beauty, its flaky crust obviously made with regular flour, beneath a ribbon indicating the cookie is graham flavored.
Apple Pie Oreos do not taste like the picture on the bag. Limited edition Oreos rarely do, and it might be for the best. The one time Nabisco’s food scientists nailed the flavor of the item they were trying to replicate, we wound up with these monstrosities:
They don’t taste like apple pie, at least not the apple pie pictured on the packaging. Maybe if the graham cookies were traditional vanilla Oreo wafers and the creme filling wasn’t more caramel apple than straight apple, they would have gotten closer.
Instead, Apple Pie Oreos taste like this:
That’s a caramel apple crisp, and it’s one of the best ways to eat cooked apples ever. Oats, caramel, some brown sugar and delicious apples, baked until only the faint echo of their original tang can be discerned. Toss a little vanilla ice cream on top and you’ve got an incredibly unhealthy dinner. Maybe eat a sandwich first.
Still, your mouth will be very happy, and Apple Pie Oreos give my mouth those feels. The creme is some of the smoothest ever layered between two Oreo-embossed wafers, and the taste is just perfect. It’s like they took the brash brown and green filling from Caramel Apple Oreos and made it edible.
Despite the slightly misleading name/bag image combo (you can make a caramel apple crumble pie, but that’s not how the cookies are presented), Apple Pie Oreos are one of the most easy-to-recommend flavors to come out of Nabisco since the fancy ones with the chocolate wafers and vanilla creme.
For extra goodness (and potential catharsis), empty a package of Apple Pie Oreo into a ziplock bag and beat the hell out of it with a hammer. Sprinkle the resulting devastation on top of vanilla ice cream. Ooo, maybe warm it in the oven on a baking sheet first.
Goddammit, Nabisco. Just when I thought I was out...