Dogs are big, dumb, infinitely lovable obedience machines. Cats—love 'em, hate 'em, or spend half your day giggleweeping to Internet videos of them—are anything but. Why are they so willfully difficult? What's going on in their heads? The short version: we don't really know.

Tekken 3, way back in 1997, had plans to include a new animal character in the fighter roster—a salmon. It was quickly judged too ridiculous to justify a $1-per-play cost in an arcade. Well, Tekken Revolution is taking suggestions for new characters, and the fish is one of them. And the others are even weirder.

Somehow it just seems inevitable, really. There have been virtual worlds for mice and iPad games for cats.

In all my 38-plus years on this great spinning dirt ball of ours I've never once heard a person exclaim, "Hooray, fish nuggets!" Can McDonald's Fish McBites make that happen?

Like a fish borne from the ashes of Dreamcast's Bass Fishing comes another wacky Japanese toy: Takara Tomy's Virtual Master Reel. It's an augmented-reality fishing reel that uses its 0.3MP camera to insert your real surroundings into the fishing game.

Here at Kotaku, we're big proponents of facial hair, even if some of our esteemed colleagues aren't with the program yet. Now science proves that a bushy moustache does indeed make males more attractive to females. Well, female fish at least.