This is why we can’t have nice things.

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Despite the stuttering issue which is still occurring for me and many other Xbox One players the day after launch, I continue to play the new Need for Speed, largely due to my children loving cars.

I love them to, though you wouldn’t know it from what I’ve done to my 2002 Mazda RX-7 Spirit R.

Need for Speed allows players to customize cosmetic parts on their vehicles—spoilers, rims, those little side bits—that sort of thing. It also allows them, much like Forza Motorsports, to create their own custom paint jobs and apply decals in order to make their ride an extension of themselves.

Looks about right.

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This never happens in Forza, because Forza stacks the car customization screen with beautiful designs made by players with much more time and patience, so I never bother trying to make my own. In that regard, Need for Speed has made a horrible, horrible mistake.

What makes this horrible design even more fun is there are full motion video scenes where the player’s car is visible in the scene, yet somehow the actors manage to do something other than just stand there and stare at it.

Here’s a shot of my car next to one owned by CHRISROCK25. I am going to assume that’s actually THE Chris Rock, and that he loves me.

She’s poetry in motion, the Faheymobile.

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To contact the author of this post, pull up to him and honk your horn, write to fahey@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @bunnyspatial.