In low-level Overwatch matches, Bastion is the bane of everybody’s existence. At the high levels, however, everybody knows how to counter the bastard bullet tube. If you look at hero tier lists, Bastion is usually at the bottom. Pros hardly ever pick him.


That made it all the more surprising when NoName of Korean team LW Blue picked Bastion during the waning seconds of an APEX 2016 match his team was definitely losing.

The map? Volskaya. The opposing team, Kongdoo Panthera, was hunkered down on the point, and LW Blue just couldn’t break through. But then, with 15 seconds left before Kongdoo Panthera took the point and won, NoName decided to go Full Quick Play:

As Bastion, he hopped on Volskaya’s moving platform, dropped into turret mode, and started blasting everything in sight. Yep, the most bullshit garbage baby vomit strategy in the book. The one that’s destroyed friendships and ruined relationships. The one that will probably elect Donald Trump, as soon as he gets tired of playing Hanzo.

So of course, it worked.


Kongdoo Panthera just didn’t see it coming, because, you know, they weren’t playing against people who just bought Overwatch yesterday. It was the last thing they expected, because it’s the first thing you’d expect from people worlds away from the pro scene. What’s old is new again. Or at least not the most garbage-ass cheese in the game. Briefly.