If you come across a group of three bad guys in Far Cry Primal, two of them will attack. The third guy usually won’t. He’ll run away.

If you follow him, he just sort of runs around in circles, yelling and trying to hide. (He’s really bad at hiding.) He’ll see you and shout “Aah! Wenja! Aaaaah!”

Then he’ll run away again. “Aaahh! Aaaaaah!”

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He’ll hide behind some log or tree or something, where you’ll immediately find him. “Aaah! Wenja!”

And that tree seemed like such a good hiding place, too...

I love this guy.

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There are two types of animals in Primal: toothy predators who will chase you down and try to kill you, and herbivores that mostly just flee. Humans in this game are apparently no different. There’re the guys who attack on sight, and there’s the guy who immediately drops his shit and bolts.

I ran into him twice in the space of about an hour last night. Behold him in all his running, shouting glory:

Here’s to you, Far Cry Primal guy who can’t stop running away. You are a steadfast pacifist living in a brutal age. You understand why it’s important to avoid violence, even as the world around you burns. I’m sorry you’re so terrified, but I understand why you feel that way.


Contact the author at kirk@kotaku.com.