If you’re a wrestling fan, you likely already know that WWE’s empress of tomorrow Asuka is a force to be reckoned with in the ring. But unless you’re terminally online like myself, you might not know that she excels in the art of shitposting as well.
When Asuka isn’t keeping fans entertained in the ring or through the equally entertaining slice-of-life vlogs on her YouTube channel, she’s putting fans in stitches (metaphorically, of course,) in between shows with her anime and video game shitposts.
Today’s wrestlers utilize social media to maintain kayfabe, where they stay in character even outside of the ring to maintain storylines. Through the sacred art of shitposting, Asuka adds a new layer to her ongoing storylines.
Asuka, whose real name is Kanako Urai, is an avid gamer. According to Game Rant, she used to be a games journalist for Xbox Magazine and even had a sponsorship from Microsoft that allowed her to wear the Xbox 360 logo on her gear during matches. That background, along with her knowledge of anime, makes Asuka an amazing follow.
Without further ado, here are Asuka’s best shitposts.
Recently, Asuka has been terrorizing former WWE women’s champion Becky Lynch. On TV, Asuka taunts “The Mom” over “crybaby antics” while chasing after her long-lost title. Asuka’s torment continues on Twitter as well, most notably in her Dragon Ball Z shitpost. Said post depicts Asuka as DBZ’s space titan Frieza, maniacally unleashing a Death Ball toward a fleeing Becky. Lucky for the Lasskicker, Asuka showed mercy in having her escape the blast.
Asuka’s popularity within the WWE is tantamount to Spider-Man’s within the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In the past, Asuka has drawn similarities between her tag-teams and the Avengers. But the simplicity of her spoofing Spider-Man sitting in an office chair in front of a framed picture of himself is just chef’s kiss.
Just as no one is ready for Asuka whenever she gets the hot tag in a match, no one is ready for when Attack on Titan’s Mikasa Ackerman is on a tear alongside the Survey Corps. To illustrate this point, Asuka made an image of her visage over the face of the titan-killing beauty. Fight on, Asuka.
If a WWE crossover with Pokémon ever occurred, Asuka seemingly revealed which Pokémon she’d have in her party: Onyx, Ponyta, Mr. Mime, Ditto, Raichu, Pidgeotto, and Charizard. While said crossover doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever coming to pass, I take solace in Asuka having the wherewithal to let her little electric homie evolve instead of power-leveling her Pikachu into oblivion like Ash Ketchum.
You can tell the quality of a person by their politics on Nintendo’s pink puffball, Kirby. Safe to say, Asuka loves Kirby—so much so that she performed a life-saving surgery on him. Hopefully, her Kirby-inspired gear photoshop is simply a tribute to the maximum pink cutie and not a Hannibal Lecter-esque skinning of the poor lad.
Many of Asuka’s memes involve the irreverently popular shonen anime Dragon Ball Z. This one involves the gluttonous baddie Majin Buu transforming Asuka into a cute cookie. The icing on top is Asuka repurposing her doodle of herself for her YouTube channel to look like one of Buu’s treats.
Asuka’s SNES Street Fighter II: Turbo Hyper Fighting shitpost also comes with a relatable anecdote from the empress of tomorrow. Instead of depicting herself destroying the car in the game’s bonus stage, Asuka instead posts a modified image of her schmoving in the ring kicking a soccer ball from under the vehicle.
“When I was a kid, that’s how we got balls out from under cars,” she said.
So true, bestie.
Instead of going the easy route and making a post of herself as a part of Naruto’s terrorist organization, the Akatsuki, Asuka instead depicted herself as a part of the Leaf Village’s secret organization, the Anbu Black Ops. While there’s room for argument that the Anbu are just as messed up as the Akatsuki, Asuka’s status as a babyface gives credit to her allegiance choice in her meme. She’s even got a fancy mask like the Anbu, so it just works.
Even when Asuka is on the shelf due to a shoulder injury, her memes never stop. Sometimes they even reference said injury, like this photoshop of her in an arm brace with Megaman’s Buster Gun. I assume Asuka was particularly motivated while making this, presumably with one hand, because she made multiple versions of the meme with Thanos, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, Samus, Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist, and Nintendo’s Power Glove.
My favorite shitpost of all time goes to Asuka’s WrestleMania 34 meme with Charlotte Flair. Unlike her other posts, this one felt like a prophecy, fitting as it spoofs a famous manga panel from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders. In the meme, Asuka approaches then-champion Charlotte in the same menacing fashion as Dio does to Jotaro Kujo before their epic battle.
What makes this meme so fitting is that Asuka, at the time, had a 914-day undefeated streak and set her sights on Charlotte’s belt at WWE’s biggest pay-per-view.
“I reject my humanity! @MsCharlotteWWE !!,” Asuka captioned the tweet. “I’ll transcend humanity! With your blood.”
Sadly, just like Dio, Asuka’s prophecy didn’t come true and her streak ended with Charlotte at WrestleMania 34. Pour one out for my girl.
Obviously, Asuka has way more shitposts than I was able to mention so be sure to share some of your favorites in the comments.