Nintendo might be the master of all things cute, but they've got their dark side as well. I mean, have you ever found yourself wondering mid-Smash Bros. match: "Why are you all so mad at each other? Wouldn't you rather be relaxing on a beach together somewhere...I dunno...safe?"
In this hilarious video, Dorkly imagines what an alternate-reality Super Smash Bros. would be like if all the fighters realized the error of their ways:
My favorite part is Peach's rant to Mario about how intense his lifestyle is:
Everything is so goddamn violent and extreme with you! When we play tennis, there are fireballs. And when we go go-karting, we have to do it on a rainbow in space. And when we have parties, we hire ghosts to rob each other!
Sounds like someone could use some couple's therapy. But knowing Mario, there'd probably still be fireballs involved.