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Who Should Star in a Real Video Game Version of The Expendables?

Illustration for article titled Who Should Star in a Real Video Game Version of emThe Expendables/em?

Duke Nukem is Sylvester Stallone. Kind of.

The Rocky actor wants you to believe that he can still explode the living hell out of armies of bad guys. So does Duke. And, with the right vitamins (or developers), they both can! We hope.


The meta-hook for The Expendables movies is audiences are in on the over-the-top action franchise's central conceit, which is that the tough guys of yesteryear can still do what they used to. But Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li and Chuck Norris are all over the hill and don't have the drawing power that they used. Hence, their teaming up.

Surely, there's a video game equivalent to this idea. An all-star cast of former superstars, banding together to grab the limelight that just one of them used to command. A Kotaku brainstorm cobbled together the characters in the image above, but you can probably do better, right? So, post the rosters of your video game Expendables line-up below and let's see what your dream team looks like.


(Top row, from left to right: Jak & Daxter, Jazz Jackrabbit, Shinobi, Sonic, Super Joe from Bionic Commando Re-Armed

Bottom row, from left to right: Lance and Bill from Contra, Crash Bandicoot, Duke Nukem, Earthworm Jim, Ralf and Clark from Ikari Warriors)

(Jazz Jackrabbit illustration by Espen G from DeviantArt)

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ok here's my list

Cole-Train as Terry Crews

Chris Redfield as Liam Hemsworth

Gulie as Dolph Lundgren

Sam Fisher as Bruce Willis

Soap McTavish as Jason Statham

Duke Nukem as Arnold Schwarzenegger

Guile as Jean-Claude Van Damme

Marshall Law as Jet Li

Big Boss as Chuck Norris

Brucie Kibbutz (GTAIV) as Randy Couture

And last but not least

Marcus Phoenix as Sylvester Stallone