For too long, video game characters have been permitted to strut through their games without a comment about their fashion sense — or the sense of the game designers who clothed them. No more.
We are proud to launch this new era of virtual fashion scrutiny with a check of what the beautiful virtual people of Uncharted 2: Among Thieves are wearing during their new and critically-acclaimed PlayStation 3 adventure.
Assisting Kotaku this time are:
-Amy Hennig, Creative Director of Uncharted 2 development studio Naughty Dog. Her studio also provided the many reference photos included here.
-Heather and Jessica from fashion blog Go Fug Yourself, who asked us to refer to them as "The Fug Girls." Their blog is best at cracking jokes on poorly dressed celebrities. They were a shade kinder here. They have not played Uncharted 2 yet.
-Latoya Peterson, editrix of Racialicious, and a contributor to our women-oriented sister blog Jezebel. She has not played Uncharted 2 yet.
Let's dive in...
Amy Hennig : Drake is not a man concerned with fashion. He wears what's comfortable and practical, regardless how stained and well-worn those items of clothing may be. His only indulgences are his belt buckles, and the ring he wears on a cord around his neck – a ring supposedly passed down from his ancestor, Sir Francis Drake.
The Fug Girls: Drake's basic outfit has all the qualities a guy could need: It's comfortable, relaxed, breathable, suggests he might be super ripped, and prevents holster-chafing. Our quibble is with the accessory hanging from his belt — surely any adventurer worth his stubble knows that if you might need to break into a run, you shouldn't dangle a dagger anywhere within stabbing distance of your thigh.
Latoya Peterson: Excellent outfit for the circumstances. Casual but sturdy, easily adaptable for a variety of situations.
Naughty Dog Reference: Converse Jack Purcell shoes
Naughty Dog Reference: Henley shirt.
Naughty Dog Reference: Diesel Jeans
Naughty Dog Reference: Belt Buckle
Naughty Dog Reference: Watch
Drake In The Cold
The Fug Girls: If it's cold enough for Drake's enormous fur-trimmed sleeves — he looks like a Mongol hunter about to gnaw on an enormous leg of mutton — then why isn't Drake's bare neck totally freezing? Are scarves insufficiently manly? And would it kill an adventurer to wash his pants every once in a while?
Latoya Peterson: The shearling coat for winter weather is a nice touch.
Amy Hennig : We wanted Chloe's outfits to be practical but sexy, and to display a sense of style. Rather than put her in shapeless cargo pants and standard-issue boots, she wears form-fitting cargos that accentuate her figure, and high boots that have a retro-designer flair. Chloe doesn't want to look too "put-together," but she's got a good body, and she knows it.
The Fug Girls: What else would you wear to scramble around the Himalayas looking for treasure than a belly shirt and a bunch of grungy accessories that might get caught on a tree and accidentally garrote you? That being said, we have to congratulate Chloe for wearing appropriately practical cargo pants. They're still tight enough to be sexy, but she also has all those pockets – so convenient for the adventurer on the go.
Latoya Peterson: Overall, the look works. It's utilitarian, and it's clear this character is out to handle her business. The shrunken tees are a bit much though - not much protection against weather or assault. They are perfect layering pieces though, so this could be easily rectified with a long sleeve kevlar undershirt.
Chloe In Red
The Fug Girls: Correct us if we're wrong, but isn't this the same shirt Chloe was wearing earlier, just in a different color? Is she like the Albert Einstein of treasure-hunters, with a closet full of multiple examples of the exact same outfit? Regardless: Better a t-shirt than a bra top.
Naughty Dog Reference: Cargo Pants
Naughty Dog Reference: Boots
Naughty Dog Reference: Holster
Amy Hennig : Like Drake, Elena tends to wear what's practical in her line of work as an investigative journalist – jeans, sturdy boots, and a blouse that will look all right on camera. In a field dominated by men, she still tries to maintain some femininity in her look, but it's hard when you're spattered with mud half the time. Her belt-mounted sidearm reflects the danger inherent in her job.
The Fug Girls: Presumably, it's no surprise to Elena that she enjoys the occasional gritty quest, so while this shirt is cute, perhaps she should shop for something more practical and less tailored — you know, so she looks like a thrill-seeker rather than a helpless disaster-movie damsel who is running away from the lava that just wiped out her law office. (Note from Kotaku: Blame us for not notifying our fashion experts that Elena is a reporter as well as an adventurer/videographer.)
Latoya Peterson: This outfit is not working for me. An anthropologist doing light field work would wear this outfit. But an adventurer? Not so sure, plus the nude colors are washing her out. Military style is back in fashion, so I would swap out the easily destroyed button up with a sturdier blazer/jacket that can be matched with her existing camisole or a scoopneck top.
Naughty Dog Reference: Shirt
Naughty Dog Reference: Shoes
Amy Hennig: Flynn's fashion is meant to betray a little more vanity than Drake's more down-to-earth clothing. Flynn's outfit, while basic, is all designer clothing – expensive jeans, designer boots, and a trendy t-shirt and necklace. Even his choice of a gunslinger-style holster is a conscious fashion choice. The differences in their clothing is meant to set up a subtle distinction between Flynn and Drake from the outset.
The Fug Girls: Nothing says, "roguish" like black clothes, leather gloves, man-jewelry, multiple weapons and a pompadour so aggressively retro that we wouldn't be surprised to hear it was inspired by the many violent downward spirals of Dylan McKay. Flynn might as well just wear a tee shirt that reads, "I'm troubled, and hot. Love me."
Latoya Peterson: Sorry, this look is completely over. The bad boy stereotype is screaming off the page. "Look at me! I'm the one in black! The unpredictable one! Do my one-liners make me look cool?" Lighten up on the black, lose the accessories and use a piece like Tom Ford's Herringbone Trench to add some drama and mystery. Plus, it's the perfect place to keep both those guns, and keep the chill off.
Naughty Dog Reference: Shirt
Naughty Dog Reference: Necklace
Amy Hennig, Creative Director, Naughty Dog: Sully is a throwback to early action-adventure heroes like Errol Flynn and Clark Gable, with a healthy dose of Ernest Hemingway thrown in. We wanted his outfit to reflect this heritage – thus the embroidered guayabera shirt, khakis, old-school boots, and ever-present cigar. His preference for a long-barreled Colt Python revolver completes the picture.
(Note From Kotaku: Victor Sullivan was spared the scrutiny of our fashion experts. You're a lucky man, Sully! )
Naughty Dog Reference: Shirt
Naughty Dog Reference: Dockers Pants