Universal Wins Rights To Produce An...Asteroids Movie

Illustration for article titled Universal Wins Rights To Produce An...Asteroids Movie

This should be a hoot. Seems Universal Pictures have won a bidding war against three other studios for the right to produce a movie based on Asteroids. Yes. The 1979 game Asteroids.


Disney writer Matthew Lopez is writing the script, while Lorenzo di Bonaventura - who has been credited on movies like Transformers, GI Joe and Doom - is producing.

On the bright side, at least there's no plot for them to screw up! Unless, you know. The movie somehow doesn't involve a spaceship and at least one asteroid.

'Asteroids' lands at Universal [THR, via superannuation]


Narrator: In space... no one can hear you fight, earth is in grave danger from...


*Killing Joke-Asteroids plays in the background*

Narrator: Love... Passion... Finish the fight... For Earth

*Camera pans back to Tom Cruise*

Commander Blaster (Cruise) addressing the general (John Lithgow): Sir, earth is in grave danger

*Cue montage, Blaster running through the fields towards love interest (Megan Fox) just to see her vaporize as a mini asteroid strikes her, Blaster looks up at the sky and screams, swearing revenge... cut to Blaster training hard at the space academy using a virtual reality simulation (To be sold on XBLA and PSN)*

Narrator: This summer, it's time to blast them back to where they came from...

*Cue montage of Blaster on the ship, triangular in nature, spinning wildly while trying to shoot hundred of asteroids*

Soundbite: Asterooooooooooooooid...

Credits roll: Fall 2011...